Choosing my battles

When I was younger my mum would constantly tell me to “pick my battles” and I had no idea what she was talking about until I hit adulthood. I realized she was talking about me and my sister fighting and that she wanted me to give in because my sister is more hellish to deal with whenever we fought (not much different now but I still don’t back down from her). Now that I’m a mum of a toddler I am hearing those words playing in my head on repeat.

There are things I don’t let my little one get away that others have told me I should give a rest every now and again. Like, telling her to get off the table. However, I’m going to keep on her about climbing onto the table and various other high objects because so far she has demonstrated that my clumsy gene is stronger than her daddy’s graceful gene.

The battles I have chosen not to fight consistently are usually not dangerous for her to be doing, just really messy. Like when she decides she wants to take all of her clothes out of the drawers and throw them on the ground. Or when she goes into the desk and throws all the papers on the floor-which she’ll do whenever I’m cooking.

If those of you are wondering what having a toddler, not a baby, is like, a lot of it is making sure the toddler doesn’t bang themselves up too bad and cleaning up after them. I am actually pretty confident in that because of my own toddler. Then again, that could just be my toddler. My toddler is the Tasmanian Devil honestly.

What’s funny is that in choosing my battles with my toddler, which are usually the least exhausting ones, I’ve actually been better about picking my battles with other people and with life in general. Like is it worth it to argue my point across with some people who are being ignorant? My pride has definitely been put in check more than once because of this life lesson. At least I think so.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Sick Mommy Tips

It’s one of those weeks (honestly one of those months) where things aren’t going as smoothly as they could be and it’s frustrating. To add to the mounting stress, I’m sick. Fever, aches, cough, random moments of chills and heat, and tiredness are all the fun things my body is currently enduring.

I have always been one of those sick people that despite feeling like death, I would still go to school and, later on, work. I got this habit from my parents (but I hope to break the cycle with my children) so couple that with the fact that I am a mum, I have pushed my body a little beyond it’s limits.

This post is mostly about what not to do when you’re sick and have a little one to take care of as well as household chores that need to be done.

The biggest thing not to do is do not skip out on a meals just because you don’t feel hungry (unless you have food poisoning or the stomach flu because I don’t think eating anything except maybe crackers will be helpful). I tried to do that yesterday and my husband caught on when he realized I wasn’t snacking like I usually do. Eat something small. Ramen always does it for me. Its quick and with aching bones, it’s less of a chore to cook. If your budget allows, order food for you and your family (cuz nasal dripping into food is unavoidable unless you stick cotton up your nose). If it’s not in your budget, I do suggest microwaveable meals. Probably gonna get hate for that but at least my family’s stomachs are full.

Drink water but not only regular cold water. I don’t know about the rest of you out there but my body doesn’t like cold water when I’m running a certain amount of fever. It’s a little sore going down honestly. Also, I find water gross when I’m sick (water being gross is actually the first sign that I’m sick since I get hot easily and most of the other symptoms is what I have when my allergies start kicking my butt). So what I’ve been doing so I’ll keep drinking water and staying hydrated is that I make hot water through my coffee pot, pop a lemon slice into my mug and pour the hot water over it. The lemon is simply because I read that lemon water is good for you so why not drink it while I’m sick right? The heat from the water itself has been helpful with my throat and my cough.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. I swear I’m not yelling through the computer, just trying to emphasize an important point that I have spent most of my life ignoring and dealing with the consequences of. If you start to feel even a little faint, that means it’s time for a break from whatever thing you’re doing. Even if it’s standing. Grab your little one, put them in the room with you (hopefully you have less wires than I do) and just lay down for a bit. I think it’s okay for your little one to cry for a little bit if you put them in a play pen but that’s just me. Do what works for your little one so that you can just lay down for a little bit.

Definitely sleep when your little one sleeps. If you’re like me and can’t seem to sleep when your family does (which seems to be happening more and more often lately), just lay there for a bit. Or if you’re feeling up to it, do a little bit of the household stuff. Light stuff like dishes and laundry are good to do. Save the heavy stuff, like mopping or moving furniture around, for when you feel better.

Also, you don’t have to clean. Just for one day, just let everything go. You are a human being. You need to rest.

Obviously this post works mostly for stay at home parents. If you are working, I do suggest calling in perhaps on the worst day of the sickness. We’re already contagious a week before we start showing symptoms (or so my mum says) so there’s already a good chance you’ve infected the rest of your co-workers. But you’re not going to be able to get much done and you’ll risk yourself getting even worse if you don’t call in that day.

All in all, do what you feel you need to do when it comes to sickness. You know your body better than I do. This is just what helps me (even though I don’t always do it).

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Daily Blog that’s not actually Daily

There are many things that prevent me from posting daily like I keep claiming I do in my tags. The big one was that I was visiting family for a month. Originally it was supposed to only be for a weekend but then they needed help. Anything for family right? However, when it became obvious that they weren’t actually going to let me help out the way I thought I was supposed to (and the fact that I really missed my husband) I got the next cheap plane ticket home. Ultimately it was when they asked me to stay just so I could see an aunt that I haven’t seen in ten years that pushed me to book my ticket back home.

My aunt is not someone I care to be around but that’s for a different blog post.

I got home almost two weeks though, so why haven’t I posted in that time? My laptop (which is actually my husband’s old one) decided to play dead. Finally today I was able to get it to cooperate with me.

I do have the mobile version of WordPress on my phone but I’m not a fan of typing out a post on it. It takes longer and since my phone is on the fritz (thank you toddler for throwing it into the bathtub while mommy was making your bath) it’ll sometimes delete my post before I can publish it.

So my current solution to the lack of posts on my blog is to write a bunch of them out (and believe me, after a month and a half, I have quite a few topics I would like to write about) and then schedule them for throughout the week.

Thanks for reading this extremely short post! Peace!

Booking baby’s ticket over the phone

So yesterday I flew at 5 in the morning to Big Island for my brother’s 21st birthday celebration on Friday. I am still super tired and judging by how early my little one knocked out for her nap, I am not the only one.

What’s interesting about flying in the islands is actually the airlines themselves. There’s a handful of them that fly just within the islands but there are two worth mentioning in the post right now.

The first one is IslandAir. They have a cute logo and cute planes but I have never flown with them and probably won’t ever because they’re the more expensive option between them and Hawaiian Airlines for just flying within the islands.

Hawaiian Airlines is a trustworthy Airlines simply because they’ve been around for so long and it seems almost everyone flys with them when island hopping. They have cheaper rates depending on the season and are even cheaper at times when booked through a third party (like Hotwire or Orbitz).

My complaint though is that when booking online and you have an infant under 2 that you’re sitting on your lap, you need to call the airlines in order to put the baby on the reservation after already securing the reservation for however many in your party (minus the baby). I’m curious why.

Why do we have to call versus being able to book my infant online? Why is that not an option? Either way it would still be free to book.

This is mainly my social phone anxiety talking because the less time I get to spend on talking to people over the phone, the better.

Thanks for reading this very short blog post! I’m visiting with family this week (and they don’t have wifi yet) so my posts will be shorter the next few days or non existent. Peace!

Future Education

Becoming a mother and a military wife (or a wife in general) at 19 wasn’t something I planned for. When I was in high school I had actually applied to colleges for a variety of things I wanted to study: psychology, history, animation, graphic arts, photography, journalism…I was all over the place. I wanted to learn it all. Unfortunately, my grades weren’t the greatest since I slacked off the first two years of high school and I couldn’t do FAFSA.

So I went to work instead. I was determined that I would save up money and then go to school. I had my own bills every month but my parents were nice enough to allow me to stay at the house rent free so that I could save. There was an opportunity to go to a photography school but their tuition was too much since I had just started working and only had two grand saved up. I turned my mind to a type of schooling that would be quicker: massage therapy.

The Hawaiian Islands are filled with Massage schools. I like to believe it’s because we’re a tourist destination that there is so many but that could just me making connections where there are none.  The nearest massage school was a thirty minute drive and there was only two things in my way: I didn’t have my driver’s license and I was working full time.

Getting my driver’s license should have been simple since I had my permit already, I just needed more drive time before I took the test. Changing my schedule was a little bit harder for me because I was a bleeding heart and we always seemed to be understaffed which led to extremely stressful situations for all workers and I hated to be one of the reasons for added stress. But I also kept it in the back of my head that as soon as we had more workers I would go down to part time and then apply the money that I had saved (which was mounting past five grand at this point since I was already in my second year of working) towards the tuition.

Then I got pregnant. For a while after finding out, I couldn’t even think about the plans for the future. I had to think about what I was going to do at that point. I talked about that choice in earlier blog post. I ultimately chose to keep my little one and was already making plans to raise her by myself, pushing my education plans a little off to the side.

Then I got married when I was six months along and now I’m suddenly a soon-to-be-mother and military wife. I wasn’t thinking about education anymore since my mind was stuck living moment to moment.

It was only after my little one turned 1 that I even began thinking about going to college. I didn’t know about the MYCAA yet, I just figured I’d wait until she started school before I’d go back to work and then do online schooling. For what? I wasn’t sure but I looked at anything and everything that interested me.

The only obstacle I truly face at this time is me being a people pleaser and of course everyone in my family I talk to wants me to do something different. My mom wants me to wait until the little one is in school otherwise (and she doesn’t say this but she implies it strongly with her facial features) I’m being selfish. My dad and my husband want me to go into something that makes a lot of money (of course they say as long as it’s something that I’ll be happy doing…as long as it makes a lot of money because with them, money is the root of happiness and I’ll be happy if I do something that makes money *insert eye roll here*). So of course, all three of them object to me getting my massage therapist license.

I’ve fought them on it, which is exhausting, and so they’ve stopped objecting every time I bring it up. I hope they realize that’s not all I want to go into, it’s just the quickest one I can do while we are stationed where we are.

I still want to learn more history because history is fascinating. I still think about psychology and that would be the longest one to get a degree for as well as the most expensive.

I am still unsure how I’m going to do it. I look up online degrees every now and again whenever I’m unsure that I can do what I want online. Furthering my education is one of those major uncertain areas of my life because no matter how much information there is out there on how to go back to school while being a military spouse, I have trouble grasping it and understanding it all. I don’t want to get put in a financially troubling situation simply because I misinterpret something.

I can’t be alone in that right?

Thanks for reading! Peace!

My Weekend

Even though I say this is a daily blog, I have a hard time thinking of something to write, especially on a weekend. This past weekend was no different but it was also a little bit more busier. We didn’t leave the house except for when I went to the little convenience store to restock on bread and house hold fresheners since I spent the whole weekend cleaning.

Being a house wife many people would assume that the house should be perfectly clean during the week. However, I am also a stay at home mother of a toddler. I spend much of week days taking my toddler to the park or on play dates after breakfast so she can tire herself out so that after lunch, she can take an hour to two hour nap. During that nap time I’ll wash dishes, sweep and mop. If it’s a Wednesday, then laundry gets added onto the list of stuff I do that day. That alone is not enough to keep the house perfectly clean though. Trying to clean while my little one is awake is not a great option because she tries to “help.”

Weekends are when I can vacuum and do a deep clean. Reason being? My husband is usually off on weekends and will more or less watch our little one while I clean. This past weekend was an even deeper clean than usual (which I’m still not finished doing) since I leave to visit with my parents tomorrow with the little one (husband can’t get off work). We’ll be gone an entire week (including father’s day weekend because of plane ticket prices) and the last thing I want to have on my mind is the state of my home.

I know I’m not the only one who feels like this. It’s an uneasy feeling leaving the house without it completely clean. Bugs can accumulate. Being gone a week means a week the house will go without being swept and mopped every day.

Now some may ask, why doesn’t the husband clean while I’m gone? Well, because he won’t. I’m going to leave it at that because then this post will become an entirely different one.

It’s amazing the stuff I discovered this past weekend while cleaning. I found a majority tool heads for the drill my husband has that we couldn’t find for the longest while. I also discovered my husband has far more clothes than I do (go figure) so about three loads of laundry was dedicated to just his stuff. We found random chargers that we thought were lost, as well as a whole bunch of coins that we can exchange for cash.

That was my insignificant weekend but my mind will soon be at ease about leaving.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Pool Day

Today I went to the community pool for the first time with my little one. It was a spur of the moment thing too (which sometimes leads to the best experiences). I had originally wanted to go to the park, mainly by myself and with my little one-I have days where I don’t really want company because I feel odd-but as soon as I went out the door I saw my upstairs neighbor going up the stairs. That odd feeling went away as soon as I called up a hello to her. She’s currently babysitting a child whose only a few months older than my little one and I asked if they wanted to join us going to the park.

The path on the way to the big park goes right by the community’s gym which has the pool right behind it. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. All signs that it was the perfect day to go to the pool. Me and my neighbor turned around, came back home, changed the little ones into their bathing suit and swimmer diapers, as well as spraying them with baby sunscreen.

Of course as soon as we get to the pool area, the door is still closed so we weren’t actually sure if we were on time. I am a chicken when it comes to looking like an idiot so I dawdled in front of the entrance of the gym where you could see the sign for the pool with the hours and days it’s open. After maybe three minutes of dawdling, my neighbor went in first and I followed (secretly thinking thank god she’s taking initiative because I was ready to just go back home or to the park). There was a very helpful group of people behind the office window that let us know that yes, the pool was open and that it was $2 admission.

We finally get to the pool! The kiddie pool had a chain link fence surrounding it so the little ones can’t run to the big pool which is only 5 ft. shallow with a steep decline instead of a gradual decline to a deep 7 ft. The kiddie pool itself was 6 in. at it’s shallow end and then 2 ft. at it’s deepest making it perfect for my little one who is at least 3 ft. With my neighbor and the little girl, we were the first ones there.

Soon more people started coming. The day was absolutely perfect so I wasn’t surprised. I was really happy that we went. My little one was having so much fun. I was worried that she wasn’t going to like the pool as she hasn’t been a big fan before. However, the water was perfect and the depth was perfect for her and since there was another baby (and soon other kids…with toys haha) she was able to have fun with more than just me.

Going to the pool may not be filled with much uncertainty but for someone like me, uncertainty is part of my life. I wake up not wanting to go out and do stuff. I never know if something bad is going to happen. Or if I’m going to embarrass myself just by being me. That uncertainty sucks. Makes me want to stay in the house and be a hermit. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my little one, I would probably stay in the house.

But here is the thing about that uncertainty. Whenever I do go outside, whenever do I send that text to a new friend asking if they want to hang out (risky business), whenever I actually post on my blog, I feel better and that twisted stomach feeling starts to lessen the more I push myself.

Or, I just want to get home as soon as possible and fall asleep. Either way, at the end of the day, I am slightly satisfied instead of beating myself up about actually doing something. Small things like cleaning and big things like going to the pool are victories. And that’s me looking at the brighter side of things.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Being a Military Spouse: A short Overview

When I became a military spouse, there was already a list of things I didn’t want to be based off of the common stereotypes and myths I had heard about military spouses. I have had people who, once I heard that my husband was in the military, give me a look, as if they figured out exactly the type of person I am based off of my status: a cheating free-loader. How more wrong could they be?

I’ve been a military spouse for two years, still basically a newbie, and I have moved about three times already due to my husband’s job. I have been lucky enough to meet other military spouses who are sick of the stereotypes and people looking at us sideways for no reason other than they think they know us. So here is a list of misconceptions and how I feel about it (because this blog is all about me).

• Military Spouses are more prone to cheating

Yeah no. This is quite an outdated stereotype. It also applies to people in service. But just because one is in the service or is married to one in the service, it doesn’t automatically mean we have this insatiable lust. All humans are prone to cheating on their significant other but it depends on one’s mindset. As my papa (who served) told me one day over the phone: “If it’s not in your mind to cheat, then you won’t. It shouldn’t even be thought of.”

• Military families are completely taken care of

Military offers many perks, such as being able to pay bills and have groceries covered as well as childcare being available to those who ask depending on the duty station you’re at and health care. However, many of us are living paycheck to paycheck. Budgeting is a monthly if not a bi-weekly activity. Even if you budget for a potential disaster such as car troubles or an unexpected trip to the ER where the medication needed is not completely covered by Tricare, you can still end up in the negative. If you have children, it gets slightly worse especially as they get older and goes to school. Many military spouses I have met have jobs of their own that helps pay for small luxuries like new clothes for always growing children or paying off old debts or even more food than what the food budget can allow.

• Military Spouses are just freeloaders

Yes there are freeloading spouses but I have yet to meet one (and no, I’m not one of them). Stay at home parents are not automatically freeloaders so get that out of your head. Those who don’t have children still go to work or they go do something (usually within the budget) to take up their time such as volunteer on base or somewhere else. Those who do have children and who stay at home spend most of the day debating whether to start cleaning or wait until after taking the child to the park to tire them out so they can clean without “help”. They also are trying to make sure that their spouses uniforms are clean (not that those who are in the service can’t do it themselves) so it’s one less thing to worry about. There’s meals to plan. Budgets to figure out. Appointments to be made. This also applies to those who work but have children in day care. The last thing I would call a military spouse is a freeloader.

• Military spouses know a good amount of what’s going on

Hahahahaha. Yeah no. Military has security clearances for a reason and despite many of us spouses wanting to know if there’s something dangerous going on, our servicemen won’t say a thing. News is where we get the information that we are allowed to know. I, personally, get very confused about statuses and military jargon no matter how much I try to study it. I think that’s just something I’m going to have to learn in time in order for it to stick. Luckily my husband is more than willing to point what words and jargon applies to when I ask.

• Military spouses know what they’re doing

Hahahahahahahahaha. My blog doesn’t have the word “uncertain” in it for no reason. Trying to navigate the rules of military living (and there is quite a bit, each duty station has more or less than each other) can be stressful because what we do reflects on our servicemen and we want to make sure they look good (for our sake and theirs). So a lot of times I’m walking around unsure if I’m breaking a rule or if I’m not doing things right (so far I haven’t broken any rules). Learning the rules for each duty station can be helpful but in my brain’s case, I won’t always remember them. So I barely know what I’m doing.

So there is a few misconceptions I have become acquainted with in my past two years as a military spouse. If you’re a military spouse I understand your pain of being stereotyped, I know the struggle. Luckily, we can count on each other to make sure we don’t fall on our faces.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Beauty and the Beast and the variety

The 2017 live action version of Beauty and the Beast is now released on DVD as well as on iTunes and Google Play (in case you didn’t already know) and my little one is currently watching it on the tablet while eating some chicken nuggets (yes yes I know bad mommy for putting her in front of a screen but it’s not like I have her plopped down in front of it for twelve hours-another post for another time) so I figured this would be a perfect time to write about it as the songs play in the background.

Now when I say “it”, I’m not talking about just this version of Beauty and the Beast. I’m talking about the various versions that this story has inspired. Some I know of, some I don’t because there are at least hundreds of adaptions of the story released in the different types of media.

The original Beauty and the Beast fairy tale was written by a French Novelist Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve all the way back in 1740 (quick math means the story itself is about 277 years old). The adaptation that remains closest to the original plot (that I have seen) is actually on Netflix at the moment which was released in 2014. But there still quite a bit of artistic liberties taken. Even the well known version of the “original” fairy tale was actually a watered down version as the original was more complex but in order to publish the author changed a few things the second time around (think opposite of Neil Gaiman when he edited American Gods for it’s tenth anniversary).

Going back to the 2014 Beauty and the Beast that is currently on Netflix, it is a French-German film and as much as I wanted to watch it in it’s original language, I was also taking care of my little one so I couldn’t keep my eyes on the screen the whole time. The dubbing is exceptionally well done though. The back story for why the Beast is the Beast is entirely different than the Disney version we are used to but he is cursed by a supernatural being so that stayed the same. I adored the costuming (this is a French film and as far as fashion stereotypes go it makes sense; American films should borrow French costume techniques and ideas in my opinion). I don’t want to give too much away so here is a picture of the film but I do recommend watching it if you like Beauty and the Beast as much as I do, or if you just want something to watch:

(see how pretty that blue dress is? And the beast’s costume? There’s more of the like in the movie)

Now we go back in time, about 26 years, to 1991 when the Disney animated adaption of Beauty and the Beast was released. I adored Belle pretty much immediately after I heard Paige O’Hara start singing in the opening song. I also felt a kinship to her because of her love of books and feeling odd compared to the people around her. The soundtrack was beautiful. Leading up to and the day of the release of the live action Beauty and the Beast I was playing this movie every day and singing along (off-key).

I haven’t seen the television shows because I was in high school still when the 2012 one started and I had a bedtime at 8 (parents woke up early for work and have ears like dogs so TVs were usually off by 7.45). I’m also the type of person that doesn’t like to jump in at anytime because I always feel like I’m missing something so I’m going to binge watch it on Netflix (once I finish all the other shows I’m supposed to be binge watching). I didn’t even know about the 1987 until I did my quick Google search. A quick overview that I read about the from 2012 puts it in the suspenseful supernatural category (one of my favorite categories despite being a huge scaredy cat). I saw a picture from the 1987 one and it looked like the cover of a smutty romance novel. Definitely piques my interest haha.

Fast forwarding to 2017 and the latest (possibly greatest?) adaption of Beauty and the Beast. First off, Emma Watson, one of my girl heroes since childhood, Hermione freaking Granger, as Belle is probably the best thing in the world to me. All of the actors in this movie did an amazing job in breathing life back into these characters. Most of the songs from the movie are on my phone and I listen to them on a weekly basis (used to be daily but I’ve calmed down a bit). I just love how the added songs. I love that they answered all the questions that I didn’t realize I had about the 1991 version. I love that gut wrenching scene at the end *SPOILER* because despite knowing they were all going to survive, my heart was absolutely breaking as they became inanimate.

Well done Disney. Well done.

So there is my review of Beauty and the Beast that nobody asked for. I’ve been mildly obsessing over this story for over twenty years so I’m a little surprised this isn’t longer.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Beef Broccoli yum

Beef Broccoli is one of my favorite dishes. Don’s Chinese Kitchen in Waimea on Big Island has some of the best beef broccoli. Since I don’t know how to make it, I went to the one place I knew would have a recipe: Pinterest.

The link to the recipe I used is here: http://pin.it/LGwKFDx

The first time I made it, it didn’t come out great but good enough. I didn’t have enough shoyu (soy sauce) the first time around so I added water to get it to the measurement. Wasn’t terrible but it didn’t allow the sauce to thicken the way it should while cooking. So my advice? Make sure you have enough shoyu.

Another mistake I made was cut the meat pieces too big despite the recipe saying 1/4 inch thick. I’ll be honest, I’m a very new cook so I’m not sure on how to actually cut meat correctly to achieve certain results but I learn (I’m also too lazy to look it up online when I’m in the middle of it). So the first time I cut the meat I was cutting it like I would vegetables which obviously didn’t help with the thickness. I was also cutting with a butter knife since that was the only type of knife I had at the time.

What I did differently this time (besides having an actual cutting knife) was I cut sideways. That sounds weird probably. I angled the knife so when I was cutting into the meat it was like it was only taking off a layer instead of a chunk. I like small pieces so whenever the pieces were getting too long while I was cutting I would turn the meat to get smaller pieces going again.

That’s how my beef broccoli looked once it was done cooking (I’m a bit of a messy cook so please excuse my dirty stovetop).

To complete the meal, I also made rice (rice is my favorite side dish, I eat it with almost everything) and then I added Kim Chee (because why not cross cultures) for a bit of spiciness.

This is the type of Kim Chee I use. It’s one of my favorites and available in pretty much all the stores here.

I present my lunch that I am very proud of. Of course eaten with Malama chopsticks because they’re eco friendly, cheap, and I like chopsticks.

Thanks for reading and happy cooking! Peace!