Friday Night Shenanigans!

This past week has been one of the most fun I’ve had since moving to Oahu because of the two friends I have made. I have written about our shopping adventures and since we’ve bonded for two days straight, I felt more comfortable asking them over my apartment.

Yesterday one of them came over (I’ll call her A) in the morning with her son so that the little ones could have a play date and we could relax and talk story. It was great, time flew by so fast. We watched episodes of One Tree Hill (a show I am seriously considering binge-watching despite knowing that my heart is going to break into a million pieces). My other friend (D), I had already texted previously about her coming over that evening since my husband was going to be at a game night somewhere else and I didn’t want to be alone for another Friday night.

What ended up happening was that A and her son ended up staying long into the afternoon so it only made sense to invite them to stay into the evening as well since D was already going to be coming over. We went to the little shoppette near us, got some drinks (small bottles of red wine and beer) and some snacks to eat with the pizza I was going to order as well. A’s husband decided he wanted to have their son for the evening and picked him up so it became a full-on girl’s night.

After my husband left for his game night, the pizza was already on it’s way and we were talking about what movie to watch. A and D both like scary movies, I don’t but I was definitely willing to watch one after having a few drinks in me since I would be more relaxed. Once pizza came, we ended up drinking some wine and I had put Moana on for my little one while we ate. We also talked. A lot. It’s been awhile since I was able to really talk to people in a long time, especially while tipsy because it made everything funnier.

The conversation went through family, family dramas, husbands, being a military spouse, sex, and being pregnant since D is currently trying with her husband to get pregnant. Then it shifted to my house. Mainly, the unfinished living room part of my apartment. The movers came in May and nothing had been put together yet since we had trouble finding the bolts which I finally found a few days ago (I also found tools and put together my little one’s crib a few days ago). We were all a few drinks in so we were relatively tipsy when A and D decided they wanted to help put my living room together.

I didn’t think we would actually do it. But once I had given my little one a bath and she went down for the night, I come back out to find them in the living room moving things around and clearing space so we could walk around when putting stuff together. I tried scolding them since they were my guests but when I’m tipsy, I’m not much of an arguer and generally go with the flow. They were very adamant about doing this with me as well.

We put together the futon couch first. We found tools and the screws only to find out that some of the screws were screwed (hehe) up from the movers putting the bolt part on backwards. Through ingenuity (and a few more sips of beer), D figured out a way to get the bolts off without breaking the screw itself and we were able to put the futon couch together! We celebrated with a cheers and a sip.

After the futon was put together and situated, organizing everything else came easier and quicker. We cleared out the rest of the boxes, throwing stuff I knew we didn’t need away and putting boxes full of what looked like tools and sewing supplies into the laundry room, and putting the emptied boxes off to the side to take outside later. They made room inside my laundry room to put the extra washer and dryer in there along with the giant ice chest we had (which we will one day actually use hopefully). We moved the book case (that thankfully had wheels) across the living room as well.

We had a good time taking the boxes out into the garage because it was midnight and we were trying to be quiet but we kept laughing at trying to be quiet. I was surprised no one called the MP’s on us. However, considering this is Hawaii, I’m sure they’ve seen way worse than three delirious women moving empty boxes outside.

They helped me sweep, organized and clean a good portion of my apartment. I thought I was dreaming seeing everything finished. I realize that I didn’t think it would ever be done. Doing it by myself wouldn’t have been impossible but it would have definitely taken me all day and into the evening. I’m glad I had them. I’m glad they were pushy. I’m glad they like to clean in the middle of the night (I’m more of a morning person). Otherwise, my house wouldn’t look the way it does this fine Saturday and it looks good.

My husband came home while I was mildly scolding them for cleaning my kitchen. They’re guests and my friends and they had already done so much! It was about two in the morning as well so I was super delirious. My husband couldn’t quite believe his eyes when he saw how everything looked. I knew exactly how he felt.

Since it was so late, he took the futon while me and the girls took the bed in the room. We all fit perfectly! It was an amazing Friday night (and highly unexpected)! We didn’t go to sleep until 3 in the morning and ended waking up at 7.30 because my little one got up and started playing youtube videos on the my phone that I left on the floor.

Last friday night was probably the best experience I’ve had since moving to Oahu.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

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Shopping Adventures part 2 (cont. from yesterday)

I said I would continue my story from yesterday and I am sticking to my word. After the mini adventure at Denny’s, the next leg of our adventure began pretty much as soon as we got into the truck. We were going to go to the Dollar store that my friends found online and because I watch Liza Koshy every week, I couldn’t stop saying: A dollah? A dollah!

Anywho, we had no idea where the dollar store was as none of us have been there before. So we turned to good ol’ Google Maps with the oh so helpful navigator narrator. The thing about driving in Oahu is that it sucks. Especially in a big truck. Getting out of parking lot is even worse because the turns are too narrow which caused us to go into the next lane. Just as my friend is going to straighten herself out and go back into our respective lane, a small car comes up, blocks her from her turning and starts beeping their horn at us. We started laughing.

The lady in the car wanted to go up the lane we were in and kept pushing her car forward I guess to try and tell us where she wanted to go (as if we didn’t already know?). Our wonder was why she didn’t just go around us since there was very little space for my friend to turn her truck without hitting a curb or a wall or the car in front of us(the developers did not make their roads truck friendly over there). So we just reversed back as she kept beeping her horn at us. When she finally went past us, we were in the middle of the road. We were lucky there had been nobody behind us.

Then as we turn out, another small car comes speeding up! Literally speeding up, brakes squealed as she stopped, and she started beeping her horn at us. It’s a small road and she expected a big truck to be able to speed on out without hitting the cars parallel parked on the opposite side? Yeah right. We laughed at her too. It was either that or flip her off. We continued to inch out and she, just like the car before her, just wanted to go up and squeezed past us on the same lane before we were even fully out.

Ultimately though, we got out of that small area in the big truck without hitting or scratching another car! Whoo! And that’s also the end of the worse driving experience I’ve had in Oahu so far (I’m pretty sure there will be more).

The Dollar store (a dollah? A dollah!) was only ten minutes away from the Denny’s which was awesome. We listened to music and talked story on the way there. The babies in the backseat were talking to each other (which was super cute but it sounded like yelling in different octaves). Parking was fairly easy compared to Denny’s (yay!). We debated for a moment whether or not we would get towed since we were technically parked in a separate shopping center than the Dollar store.

Paradise Dollar Store is small and cute. They have many cute things in there for between a dollar and three dollars. I bought a hair spritzer because I’m in a need for one which was a dollar. Then I bought the child condensed version of Tom Sawyer for three dollars (because it’s never too late or too early to start reading to your child).

After the Dollar store (a dollah? A dollah!) we headed to Kapolei to go to the outdoor mall. That was actually fun as I bought more than I thought I would (again). I got me some makeup from Sephora for the first time (it was expensive) along with a free gift since my birthday is coming up. Then we went to Hot Topic (I am one of those people yes). As much as I wanted to, I didn’t buy anything more than one of those sticky holders for the back of my phone (it’s a flower petal skull which I didn’t notice until after I bought it). Finally we went into Spencer’s and since my friend’s birthday is coming up as well, I got her a mug (because we are both coffee fiends). I got myself a Pokemon one because 1) it’s super pretty and shiny and 2) it’s nice to have another mug to use when your other one is in the wash.

Our final destination was Target. That was a good ten-fifteen minute drive from the outdoor mall and we were browsing in there for about an hour. I told myself I wouldn’t buy anything but I ended up buying my little one letter blocks since they were on sale. I definitely got some ideas while I was in there for what I want in my house for organization (and possibly aesthetic) purposes that I ran by my husband afterwards.

We had another great day shopping together, talking stories and just generally cruising. I have really enjoyed hanging out with those two ladies (and the babies) for those two days in a row.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Adventure at Denny’s

So yesterday my child and I were kidnapped to go on another cruise with my two friends again. This time, we went into Kapolei which is basically in the opposite direction of Pearl Ridge. At least I think it is, I’m horrible with directions.

The first stop in our trip was Denny’s in Waipahu. The Dollar store we heard about was also in Waipahu so we decided to eat breakfast before starting the second day of our shopping spree. The adventure started in the parking lot actually.

Despite Denny’s popularity, a lot of the time the location they decide to build leaves them with only a little parking lot (10-15 cars max usually) and the entrance to the parking lot is also the exit. Keeping that in mind, my friend has a huuuuge truck. Which would fit in perfectly on the Big Island but on Oahu? From what I’ve seen when it comes to parking that thing, not the best idea. I will say though that my friend is a freaking champ parking it.

We’re coming up into the parking lot and it’s full except for a space that with a few adjustments she could park in but we wouldn’t be able to open the doors wide enough for us to get out. Then we noticed the parallel parking right behind the wall of the dumpster which is big enough for her to park in and for us to open the doors. As soon as she parks, a wild dump truck appears just before the entrance to the parking lot. And they’re just sitting there.

We realized that they wanted to get in to where we were. Except we were confused on why they wanted our spot when it was clearly just parallel parking. Nonetheless my friend reverses out and we head into the actual parking lot. We sat there for fifteen minutes! There were no spots she could fit in and she couldn’t reverse out because of the dump truck (and, again I say this, she has a big truck). Someone wants out and starts to waving at us to move and we’re just like…how? we literally can’t go anywhere. My friend moved the front of the truck two inches to the left and the car goes past us, almost hitting the bed but I guess they couldn’t just sit and wait in their parking spot that they could reverse into again. A car beeps at us from behind…again, we can’t move. We couldn’t even go forward because there wasn’t any room for her to turn around. And that space from earlier? Taken already. So there’s nothing we can do.

Finally the dump truck leaves. And what’s funny is that we could have stayed parked in the parallel parking spot because the dump truck didn’t even go in it. They went all the way around and reversed out. We were watching and there was enough space that they wouldn’t have hit the truck. If they hadn’t made it obvious that they were waiting for us to leave the spot, we would have stayed.

After that mini car adventure we finally go into Denny’s. The hostess is an old lady we sat us immediately in a booth and was super nice. My little one decided she wanted to stand up in the seat the whole time while also trying to climb over the back of the booth. I considered myself lucky that she didn’t scream every time I stopped her (as toddlers like to do when you stop them from doing anything).

Unfortunately, this Denny’s was no Annie Miller’s with their many workers and cooks. We waited about 45 minutes to an hour for our food after we ordered. It took us 20 minutes to get a waiter’s attention when one of the little ones spilled their milk on the ground (we mopped up most of it with napkins from the table and the bathroom). I was tempted to just put on the stopwatch on my phone to time how long we waited in general. Now the way this is written, it looks like a negative review indicating you should never go there. But stay with me. Don’t skim away just yet.

The Denny’s wasn’t busy, they had plenty of tables open. But the tables that were occupied were occupied by families. So there were at least 3-6 at each table. Our waiter was extremely nice and was one of two waiters working. He wasn’t only our waiter, he was also our cashier. AND he was the busing the tables when he wasn’t waiting on them or being the cashier. The other waitress was playing hostess and doing the same jobs as him minus the cashier. HE apologized for making us wait (which I get is what customer service automatically does) and we told him to not worry about it. It didn’t take a genius to realize that they were short-staffed and I told him that we realized that. He then said they were down a server and a cook that day. Which explained why our food took so long.

Then the register started acting up while he was trying to finish ringing us up. Instead of getting impatient, we laughed it off letting him know it was alright (because he was apologizing again) because we have all been on the other side of customer service. We knew it wasn’t his fault. It’s just a matter of circumstances. We’re also not buttholes. One of the worst thing to do to someone who is working as best as they can is to make it worse but telling them that what they’re doing is not enough.

This popped up in my mind so stay with me for another second. Some people will say, Why should I treat servers like special snowflakes? They chose to serve, why should I expect less than great service? I’m not saying lower your standards on what you believe to be decent service but I’m also saying it’s not cool to be a butthole. That’s all. 🙂

To keep this post from being too long I’m breaking up the adventure over two posts. Tomorrow’s post will be about the better leg of our adventure (with a few road rage moments thrown in).

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Previous Day’s Adventure

Yesterday I went to the Pearl Ride Mall for the first time and oh my goodness I thought it was amazing. See the mall I grew up going to (like twice a year if even that) was on the other side of Big Island in Hilo. I lived on Kona side. So it was a four hour (two if taking Saddle but back then Saddle was pretty unsafe according to my parents) drive to even get there. It was also one story but still pretty big for me.

Pearl Ridge Mall is three stories high with two separate buildings that you can either walk between or take a mono-rail. That’s right, a mono-rail. We couldn’t take the mono-rail yesterday though because it was closed down for repairs. Lame Sauce.

Before we actually went to the mall, we went out to breakfast to this place called Annie Miller’s. According to my friend, there’s only one Annie Miller’s in existence and that sucks because oh my goodness people it was amazing. First, their uniforms are so freaking cute. It’s a red dress with a white peasant blouse underneath it because it’s one of those dresses that have the cut-out in the front. Secondly, the food portions were a really good size. I don’t think I’ve eaten that much for breakfast since I was pregnant. Even my little one enjoyed her little burger (she enjoyed the french fries way more of course). Third, to top it all off, their pie. I’m not sure how to outline how amazing their pies are. They have a good choice selection (I think like ten or twelve?), they have a stall dedicated to a five minute pie pick-up, and I think I died a little when I took my first bite of their strawberry pie that used actual strawberries and not preserves. When we were leaving the place, there were people waiting outside on the balcony to come inside and eat. All the waiting area seats were taken and there were people standing up waiting. It’s that good.

Now the mall itself was great because I saw stores that I haven’t seen before. There was Gymboree for babies. T.J. Maxx where I got my little one an elephant backpack leash (don’t throw stones guys it’s helpful if I don’t have a stroller).  A See’s Candies. A few local clothing stores that had really cute stuff. I had a lot of fun walking around. My little one had a lot of fun too. She was tugging on clothes like I knew she would but she listened and she loves her new backpack.

I’m proud of myself because I still have $40 left over from my $200 shopping budget. If you’ve ever been to Hawaii, especially Oahu, you’d know how little $200 actually is. But it seems yesterday was a good day to go shopping because there were many sales going on. Today we have another shopping adventure planned. I’m not sure where we’re going to go. I think Target and that’s going to be so much fun (I love Target).

Thanks for reading! I would love to hear about your favorite adventures (shopping, mini, whatever kind) in the comments! Peace!

Pool Day

Today I went to the community pool for the first time with my little one. It was a spur of the moment thing too (which sometimes leads to the best experiences). I had originally wanted to go to the park, mainly by myself and with my little one-I have days where I don’t really want company because I feel odd-but as soon as I went out the door I saw my upstairs neighbor going up the stairs. That odd feeling went away as soon as I called up a hello to her. She’s currently babysitting a child whose only a few months older than my little one and I asked if they wanted to join us going to the park.

The path on the way to the big park goes right by the community’s gym which has the pool right behind it. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. All signs that it was the perfect day to go to the pool. Me and my neighbor turned around, came back home, changed the little ones into their bathing suit and swimmer diapers, as well as spraying them with baby sunscreen.

Of course as soon as we get to the pool area, the door is still closed so we weren’t actually sure if we were on time. I am a chicken when it comes to looking like an idiot so I dawdled in front of the entrance of the gym where you could see the sign for the pool with the hours and days it’s open. After maybe three minutes of dawdling, my neighbor went in first and I followed (secretly thinking thank god she’s taking initiative because I was ready to just go back home or to the park). There was a very helpful group of people behind the office window that let us know that yes, the pool was open and that it was $2 admission.

We finally get to the pool! The kiddie pool had a chain link fence surrounding it so the little ones can’t run to the big pool which is only 5 ft. shallow with a steep decline instead of a gradual decline to a deep 7 ft. The kiddie pool itself was 6 in. at it’s shallow end and then 2 ft. at it’s deepest making it perfect for my little one who is at least 3 ft. With my neighbor and the little girl, we were the first ones there.

Soon more people started coming. The day was absolutely perfect so I wasn’t surprised. I was really happy that we went. My little one was having so much fun. I was worried that she wasn’t going to like the pool as she hasn’t been a big fan before. However, the water was perfect and the depth was perfect for her and since there was another baby (and soon other kids…with toys haha) she was able to have fun with more than just me.

Going to the pool may not be filled with much uncertainty but for someone like me, uncertainty is part of my life. I wake up not wanting to go out and do stuff. I never know if something bad is going to happen. Or if I’m going to embarrass myself just by being me. That uncertainty sucks. Makes me want to stay in the house and be a hermit. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my little one, I would probably stay in the house.

But here is the thing about that uncertainty. Whenever I do go outside, whenever do I send that text to a new friend asking if they want to hang out (risky business), whenever I actually post on my blog, I feel better and that twisted stomach feeling starts to lessen the more I push myself.

Or, I just want to get home as soon as possible and fall asleep. Either way, at the end of the day, I am slightly satisfied instead of beating myself up about actually doing something. Small things like cleaning and big things like going to the pool are victories. And that’s me looking at the brighter side of things.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

The Friendships that Lasted

I very recently posted about friendships dissolving after high school, my own experiences with it, so I decided to write one about the friendships that have lasted after High school and beyond my own expectations. A fun part of it is that this post is about two people as well. Sort of like the counterparts to the other two. Or parallels (I’ve sucked at math all my life including when it’s applied in literature so I’m not sure if I’m using the word right). Either way they are amazing people.

The first one has been my best friend for nearing eight years now. She had been new to the first high school I attended and the civics teacher sat her with me. I highly doubt his thought process was: “These two seem like they’ll be best friends forever, I’m going to seat them together” but that’s what ended up happening. We bonded very quickly over Harry Potter and Anime.

She is inspiring. When I started sleeping over her house in Sophomore year I was constantly in awe of her and her excitement for everything and anything she was interested in. Whatever she did, she gave 110% and I was more than happy to be along for the ride.

I know I’m gushing over her but she deserves it. Beyond being an awesome person in general, she is an amazing friend. She has listened to me over the years, has been there for me in extremely difficult times and she doesn’t pressure me to be something I’m not. She encourages me to explore my creative side, a side that many people have tried to get me to push down because it doesn’t make money. She’s kept me from drowning.

The other thing about our friendship is that we don’t text every day. We’ll go months without talking. When we do get in touch, it’s as if time hasn’t gone by. There’s no awkwardness. Even in our silence. I never knew friendships like this could exist; they’re not written about as often. 

Gushing time-out. Time to give my other best friend some love.

We met at my second high school. The first time we actually talked was when we were both hiding from teachers and went the same way. He was a friend of a friend, we didn’t have any classes together but we hung out in the same areas with the same people. He was cool and reserved and interesting. You ever meet someone that you were just dying to know? I have no explanation why I did. But I didn’t try to that first year.

The second year I was there, my senior year, I had the greatest fortune of having him in my Spanish class. So what does my obnoxious butt do? It sits right next to him and makes sure that that is my seat for the rest of the year. I was determined to know this guy. I’m glad I did.

First thing to say about him, he is strong. He is one of the strongest men I have the pleasure of knowing. He is also good. He is a good listener and Ann good friend. My god I don’t deserve him, either of them really. He also allowed me to be me. He didn’t take my apologies. Did I know he was going to become my best friend? No I didnt. He was a surprise.

I have trouble writing about him because I want to write about his struggles that he overcame, that he’s still overcoming. My god he’s inspiring. He’s also humble and extremely modest. I’ve wanted to shake him so many times until he admitted he was awesome. He and I do text almost every day. We talk about anything and everything. 

I hope you have friends like these. Friends that make you want to get up in the morning when you feel like the day is already gonna suck. Friends that inspire you. Friends that don’t beat you down about positive things.

I hope I have these friends for the rest of my life. I did make them my child’s godparents, official in a church and everything. They are the best type of people for her to be around, for her to be mentored by.

Thank you for reading! Peace!

Friendships after High School

Will this be kind of sad? Depends on how you look at it. Everyone is told by adults that some of the friendships we develop in High School will not last once school ends. That we will all splinter off and go separate ways and lose touch. Well, they were half right.

It’s very true that not all friendships last after high school; some don’t even last through high school. But they don’t end the way the adults said they would, not always. At least not for me.

I was an aggressively optimistic person in high school. If you read my post about my depression you’re probably wondering how or if I was lying. Being aggressively optimistic and kind of annoying about it was one way I got through my depression cycle because I didn’t want people to see that I was depressed. So when I heard that the friends I did have I wouldn’t have later? Absolute malarkey. Friendships don’t end unless you stop trying!

Now, some of you share (or shared) this ideal. What I forgot is that when only one person is trying, it’s a one sided friendship that’ll leave you frustrated and hurt. Kind of like a one sided love. Here’s my different friendships and how they ended.

First one up is the person I considered a best friend probably a little too quick. We were drastically different but in a fun way. She had her problems and so did I. It was and good friendship overall until I graduated (I was and year and head of most of my friends). We still texted and hung out when we could and it made me believe we could beat that stereotype of friendships not lasting. Then I got job.

It wasn’t because of my job that things started to break down between us, the actual reasons come much later. But my life had taken a different turn and I wasn’t as focus on high school or the drama it brought anymore which were things that still effected her. After she (and many of our other friends) graduated a year later, we were in the same boat again. Being able to talk about the same things made our friendship easier. Then she moved to a different state.

Have you ever been friends with someone that you didn’t notice had problems the you knew you couldn’t help with but you still tried anyways when you were finally clued in? I didn’t realize what she was going through until after she moved and many things happened with her that she would take out on me. My work schedule became a problem for her because I wouldn’t text back for days due to being exhausted. As time went on (about three years) she became self destructive and pretty abusive to a close friend of both of us. She had begun to lie to me about certain people and I’d later found out that she would lie to them about me. It was all small things and I realized she had been desperate for me to see her in a good light. But she had stopped listening.

Our friendship became one sided quickly after she left. I was there for her when I could be but she couldn’t listen to me. I held on until the truth spilled out about what she had been doing to a close friend. She was unapologetic about it and tried to spin it and blame him. But I saw the texts. She didn’t deserve either of us after that.

Some friends don’t deserve you. It’s hard to figure out which ones until you’ve watched them hang from all rope you had given them as a lifeline.

The next friend was another one I considered a best friend. He doesn’t get a long post like the one before because he had been more abrupt about our friendship ending. Let me tell you a little bit about our friendship.

We met at a youth church thing. He and I were extremely flirtatious, a trait that I rarely find in other people. We were kindred spirits. We loved making people smile and blush with just our words. It was a rush. We never dated but I’m pretty sure the entire church thought we were going to. His parents never let him date though. Maybe if they had, he wouldn’t have stopped talking to me once the girl of his dreams finally showed him interest after high school ended.

Right when they started dating, all communication stopped. At first I didn’t think much of it because he was horrible about texting back in general (another trait we shared). But after a few weeks of no text backs, I was confused and distracted by work so I again didn’t think too much about it. Then a common friend of ours who also happened to be a girl and a girl he had been pursuing pretty hard, reached out to me asking if she did something wrong because he had stopped talking to her as well.

I called him out on it. No reply. I consoled the common friend that he was an idiot. I didn’t come to terms that our friendship was ended until about two years later when I went through Facebook and deleted him. I did find out that the reason for the radio silence was because all his attention was directed towards the girl of his dreams. I guess he thought that when you start dating someone you stop talking to anyone who didn’t go to college with you or who wasn’t in your classes. He’s done it to our entire friend group.

Now I generalized with these two. There was so many other reasons, so many signs that the friendship is ending or needs to end but you don’t see them until you’re feeling nostalgic. Do I miss them? No. Not the people they are now. I miss the ones I hung out with in high school. I’m actually not even hurt anymore. If I was, this would have been full of swear words and name calling.

I hold on to the good times I had with them and the lessons they taught me. I hope they’re both doing alright as well. I remain a little hopeful that in the future, near or far, that we can start over as adult friends but I’m not holding my breath on it.

So, unfortunately, the adults are right. You will lose friends after High School. I can only hope that they had been good friends for you during high school. These two had been for me.

Thank you for reading. Peace.