Today I went to the community pool for the first time with my little one. It was a spur of the moment thing too (which sometimes leads to the best experiences). I had originally wanted to go to the park, mainly by myself and with my little one-I have days where I don’t really want company because I feel odd-but as soon as I went out the door I saw my upstairs neighbor going up the stairs. That odd feeling went away as soon as I called up a hello to her. She’s currently babysitting a child whose only a few months older than my little one and I asked if they wanted to join us going to the park.
The path on the way to the big park goes right by the community’s gym which has the pool right behind it. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. All signs that it was the perfect day to go to the pool. Me and my neighbor turned around, came back home, changed the little ones into their bathing suit and swimmer diapers, as well as spraying them with baby sunscreen.
Of course as soon as we get to the pool area, the door is still closed so we weren’t actually sure if we were on time. I am a chicken when it comes to looking like an idiot so I dawdled in front of the entrance of the gym where you could see the sign for the pool with the hours and days it’s open. After maybe three minutes of dawdling, my neighbor went in first and I followed (secretly thinking thank god she’s taking initiative because I was ready to just go back home or to the park). There was a very helpful group of people behind the office window that let us know that yes, the pool was open and that it was $2 admission.
We finally get to the pool! The kiddie pool had a chain link fence surrounding it so the little ones can’t run to the big pool which is only 5 ft. shallow with a steep decline instead of a gradual decline to a deep 7 ft. The kiddie pool itself was 6 in. at it’s shallow end and then 2 ft. at it’s deepest making it perfect for my little one who is at least 3 ft. With my neighbor and the little girl, we were the first ones there.
Soon more people started coming. The day was absolutely perfect so I wasn’t surprised. I was really happy that we went. My little one was having so much fun. I was worried that she wasn’t going to like the pool as she hasn’t been a big fan before. However, the water was perfect and the depth was perfect for her and since there was another baby (and soon other kids…with toys haha) she was able to have fun with more than just me.
Going to the pool may not be filled with much uncertainty but for someone like me, uncertainty is part of my life. I wake up not wanting to go out and do stuff. I never know if something bad is going to happen. Or if I’m going to embarrass myself just by being me. That uncertainty sucks. Makes me want to stay in the house and be a hermit. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my little one, I would probably stay in the house.
But here is the thing about that uncertainty. Whenever I do go outside, whenever do I send that text to a new friend asking if they want to hang out (risky business), whenever I actually post on my blog, I feel better and that twisted stomach feeling starts to lessen the more I push myself.
Or, I just want to get home as soon as possible and fall asleep. Either way, at the end of the day, I am slightly satisfied instead of beating myself up about actually doing something. Small things like cleaning and big things like going to the pool are victories. And that’s me looking at the brighter side of things.
Thanks for reading! Peace!