First off, Spawn is a term of an endearment like Little One. Just so you know. Also, at the suggestion of my husband and various family members, I have blocked out her face (these are bad times we live in so be understanding of our paranoia).


My toddler’s hair finally grew in after two and half years and of course the first way it grows is in her face. I have tried clips and hair bands and she likes it for five seconds before ripping it all out. And honestly, it wouldn’t bother me if she didn’t walk into a wall at least once a day because they are covering her eyes.

So today, I decided that it was time for her to be able to see. And I had to be the one to cut it.

Why did I have to be the one to cut it? Well, impatience for one. I can say for most certainty that I can be impulsive to the point of calling it a character flaw. Also, I remember my mum cutting my hair many times while I was growing up and it feels almost like a milestone in motherhood (at least in my family). Maybe even a bonding experience.

And we only have one car and my husband has work so I couldn’t take her to someone who actually knows how to cut toddler hair. I don’t know how to properly cut hair. So what did I do?

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I actually used Google before doing (or writing) something. I had barely typed ‘How to cut Toddler…’ before I was suggested to click on a WikiHow article

WikiHow articles had actually helped me in the past so I clicked on it. It was helpful in general and usually I do better with written directions than I do verbal but it wasn’t enough to give me enough courage to cut her hair.

So I went back and redid the search while adding the words ‘…short hair bangs’ to the search in order to get something more specific (something that usually doesn’t work because specifics are usually a hinderance rather than helpful) and legit the first thing was a Hair Cutting Video.

I watched the video for the duration that was timed out and after watching the mum cut her young daughter’s bangs, I had more courage to do it.

Now, the entire time that I had been doing the searches, I already had my scissors, my hair spray bottle (which I originally got because it was a $1), and my brush laid out on my coffee table. My daughter was sitting in her chair that was on top of a towel with another towel draped around her shoulders (that I ended up not using because she didn’t want it). I had ‘Lady and the Tramp’ on to help distract her a bit. She didn’t know what was happening but she seemed down.

After I had dampened her hair and brushed it forward (and followed the general instructions), she kept trying to move her hair out of her face and moving her head. She was having a Thing 1/Thing 2 moment where she does the opposite of what you tell her.

After what I felt like twenty minutes (which means it was like 3) I was finally able to hold her head still while I cut her bangs along just the top of her eyebrows.

I say ‘top’ because her hair had dried enough that it would have been too long if I had cut them just on or just below the eyebrows.

First thoughts after I had first seen it were:

‘Omg did I do it right?’ Which is still up for debate and

‘Omg she looks even more like my sister.’ Which both my mum and my sister agree to (but when she smiles, she looks like me 🙂 )

Thanks for reading! Aloha!

I would love to hear a story about your favorite or worst haircut that you’ve had! Comment or contact me!



Tedious Schedule

Tedious is an adjective that is used to describe things that are too long, dull, and even tiresome. Synonyms for tedious are words such as: boring, repetitive, unrelieved, and monotonous. This word perfectly describes the broad nature of being a stay-at-home wife and mother when we get caught in that beautiful trap of a schedule.

This post will probably be me whining for the most of it but bear with me, it’s just that type of day I’m having.

To a Type A person, a schedule is haven. To a mother and wife in general, having some sort of schedule helps tame the building chaos. I can’t say this for all mothers and wives obviously, or parents and spouses in general either but my schedule is three schedules in one I am only now noticing. It’s my husband’s two schedules-his work out AND his work schedules- my little one’s schedule (who needs to start potty training lord help me give me strength!), and my pets’ schedule.

You thought I was gonna say my schedule didn’t you? Yeah I thought so too. But as I was writing, I realized that all of their schedules is my schedule. That three in one? The one is mine. Which means it’s all mine.

I’m like the queen of redundancy at this point.

Now, I don’t mind having such a full schedule. It keeps me busy. It keeps me occupied. It keeps my thoughts from going down that lane that it’s not supposed to but does anyways in my down time. It’s been good for a chaotic person like me.

But now here comes the trap.

I woke up the other day to the sound of my dog barking and wanting to go outside. Normal. She’s basically my alarm because she always wants to go out between 6 and 6.30. But instead of getting up, I just laid there. I did not care if she peed or pooped in the house. I just did not want to get up.

She barked for a good five minutes while I pretended to be asleep and my husband got up and did it for me.

When he came back, I continued to lay there thinking about what I’ll have to do once I get out of bed. And I will have to do it. The animals need to be fed and given water. My child needs to be fed breakfast. I’ll need to do dishes because there always seems to be dishes in the morning. I’ll have to wipe down my kitchen counters if I want them to be clean and disinfected before I start cooking (and I do want them clean and disinfected).

That is a daily routine right there that takes maybe less than twenty minutes to do. But I am doing it every day. Without fail. It is tedious.

After that first day, it became harder and harder to get out of bed and start my day. I could be wide awake and feel my energy charging up without any coffee but there is a weight that becomes heavier and heavier each day that I go to start the routine.

Is it depression? I really don’t know. Is it because it’s tedious to do the same thing every single day? Maybe. There are obviously breaks in the schedule. The pool is open now since it’s summer and I was tempted to go every day but even going outside feels like a chore since my little one is now refusing to walk anywhere and I can’t find her stroller (I’m pretty sure I left it at my friend’s house but I haven’t seen it). I also generally don’t want to be outside. I don’t want to feel the sun on my skin. I don’t want to walk anywhere. I just want to sit and do nothing.

Okay, maybe it is depression. I still haven’t gone to the doctor to figure that out but I have an iffiness with the doctors here in Hawaii (for every 1 good and helpful doctor, there’s 5 who don’t give a crap).

I have decided today to try and switch up my every day schedule. Nothing major. It’s only rearranging the order in which I clean as well as giving myself more breaks to actually do the things I want to instead of putting it off. Like writing this blog post for example. Usually at this time, I’m prepping my husband’s meals. But I’ve got that down to a science at this point.

May my rearrangement of things break the tediousness of my life. If it works, I’ll let you guys know. If it doesn’t, I’ll probably forget to tell you guys about it.

Huh, break the tediousness. Breaking Tedious. Like Breaking Bad but parent/spouse edition (this is a lot funnier in my head).

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Staying Busy

The past two days I’ve been staying busy enough that I haven’t had much of a chance to sit down and write. I will admit that it was nice going to sleep the past two nights without feeling bad that I didn’t finish as much as I could have. Monday, after visiting with A and her son for a few hours, I came back home with the intention of resting because my little one was taking a nap. However, when I walked into my dining room after putting her in her crib I saw I needed to sweep. Sweeping the dining room turned into sweeping the kitchen, then the living room (since I now have a living room yay!) and then the hallway.

After sweeping I had a moment where I debated if I wanted to just relax or if I wanted to mop everything. Can you guess what I chose?

So I spent most of Monday cleaning. I think I literally sat down after I was done and just did that theatrical sigh of contentment.

Tuesday (yesterday), I woke up with a good amount of energy despite not having coffee. I think it was because my home was clean. I made breakfast for my family like I do every morning, made my husband his lunch (which he forgot) and cleaned up afterwards (something I hate doing until much later). After he left I tried to turn on some cartoons for my little one so that I could get ready for the day but our cable is being wonky. I turned on Netflix instead for her and she was content for a bit.

After I got ready, I checked outside my bedroom window to see if it was sunny, it was. I get her into her stroller and we go outside…completely overcast in the five minutes it took us to get outside. So I decide to go to the shoppette instead of the park so that I can at least say I exercised and I figured it would only drizzle. I was so wrong.

It started pouring on us about two minutes into the walk. I don’t know what was up with me yesterday but I felt particularly stubborn and I was like, well I made it this far, I might as well keep going. We reached the shoppette and it was absolutely dumping at this point. I walk in, grab some stuff I wanted (forgetting the one thing I really wanted) along with an umbrella which worked really well on keeping my little one dry on our way back.

Me and my little one played for about an hour or so before it was time for her nap. When I put her down, I looked outside and it was completely sunny and clear skied. Oh well. Again, I debated about resting for a bit because I did more than I usually do when I haven’t had coffee (life without coffee is actually a thing apparently) but I decided to clean my bathroom instead.

You guys, I hate cleaning my bathroom. I hate the thought of it. I haven’t really cleaned it except for a spot clean here and there. The reason I hate it is because that is the daddy long leg spiders favorite place to hang out. They have their little homes situated in all the corners. I know they’re harmless but they’re small and creepy to me and I try to avoid them at all cost. I also hate killing things if I don’t have to. Like the only spiders in my life I have been able to kill are the ones that decided to make a beeline for my daughter. An entirely different persona takes over when I see that. That person doesn’t give a crap about spiders or bugs in general.

Anywho, before I go on a bug tangent, I actually cleaned the bathroom. Took the bath to wash and dry. Cleaned the tub. Cleaned the sink. Swept and mopped the floor. I was surprised that no spiders came running out at me because I didn’t really see any (which is totally fine with me). I sprayed the toilet and realized I didn’t have toilet brush so I texted D who lives upstairs from me asking if she had one. She did and she was a saint and brought it down to me (the little one was sleeping so I didn’t want to leave her). D came down and while I was cleaning the toilet I talked story with her for a bit and asked her if I was doing it right (I have never cleaned a toilet because my parents never wanted me and my sister to have to…they forgot that we would have to eventually when we moved out).

Afterwards, I was very proud of myself. My little one woke up while D was here and after feeding her, we went to the park for about an hour. She had a good time especially since the sun was finally shining.

Today, I’m hoping it won’t rain so we can go to the park this morning. I’m looking outside right now and it looks overcast a bit so we shall see.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Friend’s Day! …with babies!

Today, my new friends and I are going to the mall. With the little ones. This should be an adventure. I’m actually pretty excited for this because I haven’t been to the mall that they’re talking about (I’ve heard only legends…and the few news reports when someone fell off a railing), it’s a girl’s day (when you grow up with only male friends, having friends who are girls that actually want to spend time with you and that aren’t mean is amazing), and I get to go shopping.

One of them was talking about leaving her little one with a sitter because he doesn’t do well in malls or shopping centers (we think it might be because of too many people and when they’re in a stroller they can’t see us) but ultimately decided to bring him since we’ll have my little one and hopefully they can distract each other. I had even thought of the same since it would make shopping easier (my little one is currently in her grab-everything-she-sees phase). But if there is one particular thing that I am not comfortable doing (among the many things I’m not comfortable with) it’s leaving my little one with a sitter. And I actually know why that is too.

After I announced I was pregnant on my Facebook, all of a sudden it was like my Facebook feed was filled with news reports and articles of babies passing away while in the care of someone other than their parent (posts babies passing away because of their parents were on there just as much) and thus this fear of leaving my little one with anyone besides family was embedded into me.

So because of that, I took my little one everywhere I go and if she can’t go, then I don’t go. The few exceptions were when my cousin took me out drinking and I left her with my grandparents (after she fell asleep), when I went to my best friend/brother/godfather (one day his title will be as long as Dany’s) of my daughter’s 21st birthday and I left her with my sister for the night, and when I went to the movies that one time with my sister and my little one was with our parents. There were a few others were I had to run errands but she was always with family.

Now, I live on a different island than my family so my safety net of people who I trust and who are willing to watch my little one is gone. I’ve made friends with other mums who have watched each other’s kids and I would like to ask one of them if they could watch her for an hour to get her used to other people watching her. My husband has even found a couple willing to watch her if he and I ever want to go on a date night (imagine my shock that my homebody hubby actually wants to go out). But that little tingle in the pit of my stomach, that worry, that guilt, keeps me from wanting to.

As my mum says, I’ll have to cut the apron strings at some point. I just want to make the right choice you know?

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Coffee Addict Much?

Pretty much anybody that knows me personally knows that I really love my coffee in the morning. If my little one isn’t awake before me (a rare and lovely event), brewing coffee is the first thing I do. Do I love it for the taste? Yes. I’m a no creamer type of girl unless I get it from the gas station. Do I love it because it makes me feel less dead? Definitely! Am I an addict when it comes to coffee? Probably.

I mostly joke about being addicted to coffee but I can’t deny that when I don’t have it for a few days straight, I start going through withdrawals. When I worked at Starbucks, we all would go through a coffee cleanse when we were having to put more shots of espresso into our already pretty caffeinated drinks. Like any addict will tell you, withdrawals suck (but I suspect that coffee withdrawals are not as intense).

Usually what happens first with me when I start my coffee cleanse is that my entire body feels tired, heavy. I can actually feel the bags under my eyes weighing down my face.There is something satisfyingly raw about that sensation that I never mind pushing through it (sounds odd I know). At least during the cleanse, I didn’t have trouble falling asleep at night (or as soon as I had gotten home).

The worst part of it (for me) are the tension headaches. They always started at the point where my skull meets my neck and radiated out. Sometimes they start by my temple making me wince or pull a face if it starts all of a sudden. I never took (and still don’t) any type of pain reliever because I used to be very stubborn about getting through the pain on my own (now it’s just because I wait until it gets really bad). The headaches last for only a few days during the cleanse and decrease in intensity over that time period. I usually didn’t notice when they stopped because no matter how bad a headache was, I still had to work.

Now the worst part of a cleanse for other people is the irritability that hit around the middle of it. Working in customer service was already a pain in the butt, a slowly decaffeinating me made it feel worse so I always had to try and keep it in check while at work. At home however, well, me and my sister would argue far more. My mum would call me a grumpy cat while I sat there with, you guessed it, a grumpy look on my face. Looking back on it, it was nice (annoying back then) to have a family that didn’t take me seriously during that time.

I would go on the coffee cleanse for about a month or so during slow season so that when busy season (summer, ending of fall, and winter) hit, my tolerance for caffeine was super low. I was able to drink coffee and get that amazing burst of energy that allowed me to do several things at once as well as deal with unruly customers with a large smile on my face.

Nowadays, the thought of going on a coffee cleanse is not welcomed. I most likely need to go on one since I’ve been drinking coffee (at least four mugs full) every morning since I stopped breastfeeding but I dread it. I ran out of coffee and couldn’t buy more for three days and all the withdrawal symptoms hit at once and oh lord almighty it sucked.

That’s actually more of a reason to go on a coffee cleanse for a while isn’t it?

Maybe I should start switching to tea for an energy boost. I will let you know if I do decide to make a switch and what it feels like.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Choosing my battles

When I was younger my mum would constantly tell me to “pick my battles” and I had no idea what she was talking about until I hit adulthood. I realized she was talking about me and my sister fighting and that she wanted me to give in because my sister is more hellish to deal with whenever we fought (not much different now but I still don’t back down from her). Now that I’m a mum of a toddler I am hearing those words playing in my head on repeat.

There are things I don’t let my little one get away that others have told me I should give a rest every now and again. Like, telling her to get off the table. However, I’m going to keep on her about climbing onto the table and various other high objects because so far she has demonstrated that my clumsy gene is stronger than her daddy’s graceful gene.

The battles I have chosen not to fight consistently are usually not dangerous for her to be doing, just really messy. Like when she decides she wants to take all of her clothes out of the drawers and throw them on the ground. Or when she goes into the desk and throws all the papers on the floor-which she’ll do whenever I’m cooking.

If those of you are wondering what having a toddler, not a baby, is like, a lot of it is making sure the toddler doesn’t bang themselves up too bad and cleaning up after them. I am actually pretty confident in that because of my own toddler. Then again, that could just be my toddler. My toddler is the Tasmanian Devil honestly.

What’s funny is that in choosing my battles with my toddler, which are usually the least exhausting ones, I’ve actually been better about picking my battles with other people and with life in general. Like is it worth it to argue my point across with some people who are being ignorant? My pride has definitely been put in check more than once because of this life lesson. At least I think so.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Sick Mommy Tips

It’s one of those weeks (honestly one of those months) where things aren’t going as smoothly as they could be and it’s frustrating. To add to the mounting stress, I’m sick. Fever, aches, cough, random moments of chills and heat, and tiredness are all the fun things my body is currently enduring.

I have always been one of those sick people that despite feeling like death, I would still go to school and, later on, work. I got this habit from my parents (but I hope to break the cycle with my children) so couple that with the fact that I am a mum, I have pushed my body a little beyond it’s limits.

This post is mostly about what not to do when you’re sick and have a little one to take care of as well as household chores that need to be done.

The biggest thing not to do is do not skip out on a meals just because you don’t feel hungry (unless you have food poisoning or the stomach flu because I don’t think eating anything except maybe crackers will be helpful). I tried to do that yesterday and my husband caught on when he realized I wasn’t snacking like I usually do. Eat something small. Ramen always does it for me. Its quick and with aching bones, it’s less of a chore to cook. If your budget allows, order food for you and your family (cuz nasal dripping into food is unavoidable unless you stick cotton up your nose). If it’s not in your budget, I do suggest microwaveable meals. Probably gonna get hate for that but at least my family’s stomachs are full.

Drink water but not only regular cold water. I don’t know about the rest of you out there but my body doesn’t like cold water when I’m running a certain amount of fever. It’s a little sore going down honestly. Also, I find water gross when I’m sick (water being gross is actually the first sign that I’m sick since I get hot easily and most of the other symptoms is what I have when my allergies start kicking my butt). So what I’ve been doing so I’ll keep drinking water and staying hydrated is that I make hot water through my coffee pot, pop a lemon slice into my mug and pour the hot water over it. The lemon is simply because I read that lemon water is good for you so why not drink it while I’m sick right? The heat from the water itself has been helpful with my throat and my cough.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. I swear I’m not yelling through the computer, just trying to emphasize an important point that I have spent most of my life ignoring and dealing with the consequences of. If you start to feel even a little faint, that means it’s time for a break from whatever thing you’re doing. Even if it’s standing. Grab your little one, put them in the room with you (hopefully you have less wires than I do) and just lay down for a bit. I think it’s okay for your little one to cry for a little bit if you put them in a play pen but that’s just me. Do what works for your little one so that you can just lay down for a little bit.

Definitely sleep when your little one sleeps. If you’re like me and can’t seem to sleep when your family does (which seems to be happening more and more often lately), just lay there for a bit. Or if you’re feeling up to it, do a little bit of the household stuff. Light stuff like dishes and laundry are good to do. Save the heavy stuff, like mopping or moving furniture around, for when you feel better.

Also, you don’t have to clean. Just for one day, just let everything go. You are a human being. You need to rest.

Obviously this post works mostly for stay at home parents. If you are working, I do suggest calling in perhaps on the worst day of the sickness. We’re already contagious a week before we start showing symptoms (or so my mum says) so there’s already a good chance you’ve infected the rest of your co-workers. But you’re not going to be able to get much done and you’ll risk yourself getting even worse if you don’t call in that day.

All in all, do what you feel you need to do when it comes to sickness. You know your body better than I do. This is just what helps me (even though I don’t always do it).

Thanks for reading! Peace!