Things to keep in mind when you’re visiting Hawaii

This post has been brought to you by the random memories of customer interactions from when I worked at a popular coffee shop by the hotels on the Big Island.

I’m just going to get right into it:

•Keep in mind that the islands of Hawaii are tropical and tracking weather here is always off a bit. Especially if you’re on the Big Island (which has several different climates). Be prepared for cold days and hot days as well as random thunderstorms that can last at least two weeks and heat waves during what should be the “cool” months (September to May).

•When sightseeing, the driver needs to remain focused and going speed limit to prevent possible accidents. There are plenty of places to pull off and stare at the scenery. Adding to this, if you are going to stop and take pictures, go all the way off the main road (you look like a jerk if you don’t).

•When you ask locals for help finding a place, keep in mind that they’re going to give you directions according to locally recognizable buildings that you may miss. Also if you try to correct a local on a location or a pronunciation, they will stop helping and point you in the opposite direction.

•DO NOT TAKE ANY PLANTS OR ROCKS FROM ANY SACRED SIGHTS It is rude.

•BEWARE of tour companies offering to take you to hidden places or onto private property. Some are illegal and they don’t have the permission of the owner. Always ask questions so you don’t get into trouble.

•If looking for local souvenirs to take back home, definitely hit up local farmer markets and even the random street vendors you see on non-market days. Buying local helps the state economy which in turn helps locals survive (living in Hawaii costs a lot).

•Be Careful of the homeless. Some of them are sent here on one-tickets from their home state because they lack the resources to otherwise take care of mental or welfare needs. Other homeless are lazy and are here to ride on the generosity of the locals. Then some are addicts. However, many of them are families who can’t afford both the rent and food as the cost of living keeps going up so they choose to feed their families (these are good people and you need not be wary of them; just the homeless with the same signs).

•There are very few places and businesses that are open 24/7 so best to stock up on food and snacks and drinks before 11 if you’re a late night type of person.

•Lastly, enjoy yourself while you’re visiting. Go out and explore the islands. Stay in the hotel and relax. Expand your food horizons. Hit up restaurants that you recognize. Either way, Hawaii has almost everything.

Thank you for reading! Peace!

The DMV: A Rite of Passage

I really feel like that a person isn’t an official adult they’ve had to stand in line for hours (unless they get there right when the office opens) only to be told that they don’t have all the necessary documents and have to come back and do it all again later on that day or on another day. Double whammy if when they do come back and are told by a different worker that the extra documentation brought in wasn’t needed like the previous person told them.

Can you tell I’ve been through that?

Let me tell you something, I’m 21 years old and I’m only now getting my driver’s license. I didn’t get my permit until I was 18 (or 19 I actually can’t remember). It wasn’t because my parents didn’t want me to learn in high school, it was because the DMV required the permission of both biological parents for me to obtain a provisional. This wasn’t possible because my biological father wasn’t in the picture and we weren’t gonna contact him to get his permission because drama followed that man every time he came around.

So I waited. Man oh man, the first time I tried to get my permit was an experience. Yes, the first time I tried.

I had bought my driver’s test book, studied, got all the documents put together that the book said I needed and then went to the office at the scheduled time they were supposed to be back from lunch so I could be one of the first in line. Sign said they would be back at one in the afternoon.

They didn’t open the office until two-thirty. Strike one.

I go in, I wait with a few others as we had put all our stuff into separate baskets and slid them the worker behind the desk one at a time and sat in the order we had given the workers our documents.

Time is going by and each person who had been in front of me has been sent away about not providing proof of address. I figure I should be fine because the drivers book told me that my state ID worked as a proof of residency. 

Then it’s my turn and the worker asks me for two pieces of mail proving residency. Confused I tell the worker that I read that I only needed my state ID. They tell me that I’m wrong and I need two pieces of mail in my name like a bank statement or a land tax paper proving I live at the address I had given. Well, I lived with my parents. They needed to come in with two pieces of proof that they lived at the address given and then sign an affidavit that I lived there too. Strike three and I’m sent on my way.

The rules had changed and it would seem that they hadn’t cared to tell anyone until they came in. What a waste of time for everyone involved.

I got my permit on my second try and passed my permit test. Yay.

So here is a quick outline for those heading to the DMV on the Big Island of Hawaii trying to get their permit and then their license (18 and older):

•Documents you’ll need- All of it. Bring your birth certificate, your social security card and any type of government issued ID. Bring two pieces of mail that prove your residency (your residential address which is not the same as your mailing address) so like a bank statement, a property tax bill and utility bills. If you’re living with someone, they need to come with you with the proof above (if nothing is in your name) and sign an affidavit for you.

•Money. I believe it’s $15 for a permit test. Always good to carry at least $40 in cash nowadays anyways. Drivers test is $10 I think (but I can be totally off. I’ll update this again after I take my test again).

•When you’re at the DMV, DO NOT go straight into line. They have a former they need you to fill out first that is usually at the front. Just looks for stacks of paperwork with pens next to it.

•After passing your permit test you can schedule a driver’s test for two weeks after that day (again, only if you’re 18 and older).

•Parallel Parking is part of the test (it didn’t use to be so I was thrown when I was asked to…I failed).

I do believe that is all you need to know. If any of you go to the DMV and things come up that I didn’t list…obviously they changed the rules and I was unaware. Sorry!

Thanks for Reading! Peace!

Parent Talk: Needing Time

Since the very beginning of this journey of parenthood (like when I was still pregnant), I was constantly told (mainly by my mum) that I needed to take time for myself every once and while. That I’ll need time to myself, by myself. As a pregnant person, I agreed with my mum that I will do that because I understand what she was saying. Except I didn’t. Then when my little one came into the world, I couldn’t understand what my mum was talking about because every fiber of my being rejected the idea of being in a separate room from her.

Now it’s a year and a half later.

Needing time, I have found, doesn’t mean that I don’t love my little one any less than I had when she was born-maybe less deliriously. But I had felt that just the fact that I thought I needed time to just be by myself or with other human beings without my little one was like a betrayal to her (I’m a little dramatic). Besides, I was totally taking care of myself, I ate every day and drank water throughout so I was totally fine, right?

So despite the warning signs that my patience had started to grow thin, I pushed through not taking some time for myself. It wasn’t until one night when she was about four months old, she had woken up for the sixth time since I had put her down at ten and I was suddenly tempted to just drop her in her crib and letting her scream that I realized that I wasn’t taking care of myself like I told my mum I would.

I’ll say right here and now that I never thought I would have thought such a thing as dropping her before that night. Exhaustion took its toll and I had let it. I had tried to a be textbook stay–at-home wife and mother; you know, the one the media, sometimes our families and even our significant others at times try to push us to be? I tried to keep my house as clean as possible, mostly cleaning when the baby was napping, as well as trying to teach myself how to cook amazing dinners (my parents spoiled my sister and me by not letting us in the kitchen to do any cooking) so that my husband could be proud of me.

I shouldn’t have put such pressure on myself since I literally had no prior training on any of it. I literally went from a kind of financially stable, hardly any responsibilities besides work and a few bills type of life to a life of taking care of other human beings as well as being a military wife. I really should have given myself a transition period.

So what do I recommend when it comes to taking time for yourself? Sleep when the baby is asleep. If you can’t? Do something light to preoccupy yourself but can still relax while doing. Like reading. Or binge-watching Netflix. Or painting your nails and toenails. Or shaving. Or putting on a mask and laying down doing nothing but scrolling on your phone-if even that.

Your emotional and mental health will improve.

If you have trouble leaving things a mess like many people I know but are at your wit’s end, my suggestion would be to take still take a deep breath before you start cleaning. Cleaning small and lightly, room to room. I would always try to tackle the whole house at once and that never worked out the way I wanted. You can even light clean when the baby is awake. I have found (a little too late) that babies are great at preoccupying themselves when they’re not screaming for you. Which means you can do a light trash pick up or rearranging of things during those times.

Definitely ask your significant other for help. I didn’t ask mine for help in the beginning and he asked a few times only to meet my refusal and now? He spends a lot of his time playing video games and letting me know our child is doing something he doesn’t like so I need to get her to stop. Unfortunately, sometimes significant others are slow on the helping out part. I still ask him though when I’m tired from waking up with our little one throughout the night during her sleep regression cycles if he can watch her. He does it sometimes, for like ten minutes but it’s progress.

I can probably write an entire different post about dealing with a significant other who doesn’t think being a stay-at-home parent is at all a big deal (maybe I will one day) but for now I will leave it at this. Take care of yourself parents.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Baby Talk: Sickness

There are a lot of websites and blogs that let you know the illness that your little one has by matching it up with the symptoms they’re showing. They’ll even let you know what you should watch out for in the first two years (up a five years) of your little one’s life. I love those websites.

But nothing beats going to the doctor for your baby when they’re sick. I’m usually filled with anxiety whenever my child is sick and while websites are awesome the assurance of a doctor is the only thing that calms the anxiety down a bit. I’ve been lucky to have gone to a pediatrician clinic that offer at-home remedies for when she has a small cold, a runny nose or just a cough alone.*

There is still things that throw me off a little bit. Like how when my little one is running a 101 degree fever (Fahrenheit), I actually shouldn’t bother calling the doctor’s unless it’s been steady for a day. Seriously? Yep, they say wait to call unless the little one is running at least a 104-105.

The reason that messed with my account brain is because growing up my mum would try to keep my fever under 102 and took me to the ER when it spiked to 103-104. Fevers are scary for me and my family.

If you’re like me and my family (and confused by the fever system) here’s a tide bit of advice when it comes to a little one’s fever: call the doctor’s office anyways.

I’m sure that’s going to seem annoying to the nurses and the doctors (I have heard the annoyance in a nurse practitioner’s voice) but I am still not 100% confident in my parental role especially when she gets sick. I need reassurance and I need to be told what I should do, even if it’s simple, nearly every time my little one has a fever for more than two days. I also know I’m not the only one because majority of my family is the exact same way.

Now when it’s day one of the fever, I like to try to see if it’ll ride out on its own because then it’s a Teething fever (I just love teething) and she’ll be fine. Day two, if the fever didn’t at least go down over night and starts spiking and her skin is burning to touch, I put a cool cloth or paper towel over her forehead and neck. She absolutely hates it but at least the fever will go down. I’ll also give her baby Tylenol or the fever killer that starts with M that I can’t remember right now. Day three, I’m calling the doctor’s office (if she hadn’t developed any other symptoms) or walking in as soon as they open (if she does develop a runny nose and a cough along with anything else). I take the doctor’s (or nurse’s) advice from there.

Just to put this out there so you all don’t think I’m running around with my hair sticking everywhere like a bad cartoon all stressed out with worry: I’m, outwardly, very calm when this is going on despite freaking out on the inside. Like I said, fevers are scary for me (simply because numerous things can be wrong with fever as a symptom). But the situation doesn’t get better from a freak out (though I know I’d probably feel a tad better from letting off a little steam).

Oh and you know what’s weird (besides the whole ride of parenthood)? Sleep disappears when my little one is sick but not in the same way as when her Sleep Regression cycles hit. I suddenly cannot sleep at night after she’s gone down. It’s like sleep isn’t part of my biological code anymore. Then sometime during the day I’ll crash when she does and the illusion is shattered.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

*For built up mucous (the little one’s cough will be an indicator), try using some honey (just teaspoon or a few squirts) mixed with warm water. For a stuffy nose, a warm damp cloth placed over the bridge of the nose (or dragged down over it) for about thirty seconds; the snot should be less crusty and solid after that and could be cleared (semi) by a nasal bulb.

Skin care struggle

I almost envy the simplicity of my husband’s body care routine. Mostly for his almost completely clear skin (tmi time: I’ve had acne since I hit puberty). Not only does not needing acne products leave more money in the bank, it also cuts down on the time spent in the bathroom.

It actually took until I became a mum to learn about all the skin and hair care I had been neglecting for years. I just recently found out (thanks to the toilet paper test) that I have normal-oily skin and only using acne scrubs had actually made the oil production worse by drying out my skin too much. Whaaaat?

I wish they had an elective on this stuff in high school. But at least we have Pinterest now. That is where I’ve learned majority of my skin, hair and nails knowledge.

Unfortunately everyone reacts differently to different products so I’m always double guessing what I should get. So far my favorite skin care routine is called No. 7. But since moving, I had left them at my parents house and have yet to find them in the stores where I’m currently living. The nearest Target is about thirty miles away and I don’t have the car to get it.

So I went onto a different line of skin care products.

I use the Aveeno lotion so after passing these products multiple times in the local store I decided to try it out. Daily scrub every morning, followed by the cleanser and finishing off with the daily moisturizer. Night time it’s the cleanser again followed by the intensive night cream.

I like the scrub because it just clears away whatever makes my skin look so dull in the morning. Just like it says on the bottle, my skin looks brighter afterwards. The foaming cleanser feels super light when I rub it onto my skin and I definitely feel cleaner after I wash it off and seal my skin with cold water. My skin also felt drier. Reading the warnings about drying out the skin too much, I go to the daily moisturizer. I’ve been putting on a thin layer but I think I will have to put more because my skin still feels dry ten minutes after.

My skin care routine is extremely short compared to what I should be doing to keep my skin healthy (like eye serum for example which I heard is a tired mum’s best friend) but I’m also on a budget. If only they made cheap but quality skin products so that I can feel pretty without breaking the bank.

The Aveeno products come out to about 11-15 bucks each depending on where you’re shopping. It’s not too bad compared to the pricing of some other products but it’s still not exactly cheap to be spending each time I run out.

I’ll most likely come back to this post in a few months and talk about the next round of products I’m using as the journey to outer beauty is never ending.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Baby Talk: Sleep Regression

I want to lead this post with a fact: I am not a baby expert.

I honestly feel like I barely know my own child, now hitting toddler age, sometimes. Especially when the Sleep Regression cycles hit. 

The book, What To Expect: First Year, is what initially warned me of those cycles but I have forgotten most of it has said about dealing with it. Sleep Regression is when the baby’s sleeping patterns become more erratic because of all the mental, physical and emotional development their going through. It can effect how they sleep through the night or their naps during the day or both. Apparently even the babies who have a pretty good sleep routine will go through this. Despite what some people think (who dont post online that I know of thank goodness) I really doubt the environment the baby is in can cause Sleep Regression. How messed up the sleeping schedule gets depends on the baby. 

For my little one, who now only wakes up once throughout the night, she will wake up four to five times more than she usually does when she goes through her Sleep Regression. And each time is like the first time it happened, I’m unsure of what I do so I look it up online (How To Deal with Sleep Regression) because I don’t remember what I did the previous cycle to get her to sleep. I’ll try and retry all of the tricks they throw at me (except closing the door on her, she doesn’t react well to a closed door when she wakes up even if she’s sleeping with me). In the end, I just try to make her as comfortable as possible while trying to sleep when she does.

What do I recommend for this stage? I recommend trying everything until you find something that works. Each cycle can yield different results. Last cycle my little one didn’t like me patting her butt when before that it was one of the sure ways to tip her over the sleepy edge when she’d fight it.

Now Sleep Regression is one reason for a baby’s sleeping schedule to get thrown out of whack. Teething is another. And honestly, if it wasnt for books and the internet telling me when the Sleep Regression will normally hit, I would definitely confuse the two. And that’ll be a post for a different day.

I hope this was a little helpful. Just know that you got this and that coffee (or an energy boosting beverage of your choice) is your best friend during these cycles.

By the way, I’d love to know what you mommas out there do to get through these cycles by commenting or messaging  (I think you can do that on WordPress I’m not sure).

Thanks for Reading! Peace!

Not A Wine Mum…

…but I am definitely a beer mum. Or a Jack Daniels mum if my parents are watching my little one.  Or a mojito/magarita/martini mum when I go out with my cousins or husband. Point is, I am definitely one of those mums that partake in destroying my liver. Does it make me a bad mum? Hell no.

I bring this up partially because it’s funny how some people will look at me a certain way when I tell them I drink on occasion. That look that’s super judgy? It’s also surprising because tons of parents drink on occasion, it’s joked about, there’s even pages dedicated to wine moms.

At first, those looks made me second guess myself as a mother. Is it really okay for me to be getting inebriated while my child is asleep? The answer I finally came to is yes.

Did I lose the anti-fun pro-judgey people there? Good I hope so.

I am not saying that every parent out there needs to drink in order to unwind from a particularly long day or week. But partaking in anything that brings you a bit of pleasure doesnt make you a bad parent or a selfish parent. Im sure a lot of you are going no duh but this is the type fear that just randomly hits parents who just want to be the best they can be for their children. Especially for me. I am uncertaim about pretty much everything when navigating mommyhood (let alone adulthood) so I’m a pretty easy target for mommy shamers. Im lucky to have friends and family though that understand completely and help me to confidence.

Continuing on to the drinking, I am not saying get hammered. You’re smart people. You’ve figured out the internet. Know your limits and responsibilities.

Now, if it wasnt obvious to you, I am currently sipping on a beer while writing this. I have earned this beer. Just like you’ve probably earned a drink. Or ice cream. Enjoy yourself parents, you’ve earned it.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

The Friendships that Lasted

I very recently posted about friendships dissolving after high school, my own experiences with it, so I decided to write one about the friendships that have lasted after High school and beyond my own expectations. A fun part of it is that this post is about two people as well. Sort of like the counterparts to the other two. Or parallels (I’ve sucked at math all my life including when it’s applied in literature so I’m not sure if I’m using the word right). Either way they are amazing people.

The first one has been my best friend for nearing eight years now. She had been new to the first high school I attended and the civics teacher sat her with me. I highly doubt his thought process was: “These two seem like they’ll be best friends forever, I’m going to seat them together” but that’s what ended up happening. We bonded very quickly over Harry Potter and Anime.

She is inspiring. When I started sleeping over her house in Sophomore year I was constantly in awe of her and her excitement for everything and anything she was interested in. Whatever she did, she gave 110% and I was more than happy to be along for the ride.

I know I’m gushing over her but she deserves it. Beyond being an awesome person in general, she is an amazing friend. She has listened to me over the years, has been there for me in extremely difficult times and she doesn’t pressure me to be something I’m not. She encourages me to explore my creative side, a side that many people have tried to get me to push down because it doesn’t make money. She’s kept me from drowning.

The other thing about our friendship is that we don’t text every day. We’ll go months without talking. When we do get in touch, it’s as if time hasn’t gone by. There’s no awkwardness. Even in our silence. I never knew friendships like this could exist; they’re not written about as often. 

Gushing time-out. Time to give my other best friend some love.

We met at my second high school. The first time we actually talked was when we were both hiding from teachers and went the same way. He was a friend of a friend, we didn’t have any classes together but we hung out in the same areas with the same people. He was cool and reserved and interesting. You ever meet someone that you were just dying to know? I have no explanation why I did. But I didn’t try to that first year.

The second year I was there, my senior year, I had the greatest fortune of having him in my Spanish class. So what does my obnoxious butt do? It sits right next to him and makes sure that that is my seat for the rest of the year. I was determined to know this guy. I’m glad I did.

First thing to say about him, he is strong. He is one of the strongest men I have the pleasure of knowing. He is also good. He is a good listener and Ann good friend. My god I don’t deserve him, either of them really. He also allowed me to be me. He didn’t take my apologies. Did I know he was going to become my best friend? No I didnt. He was a surprise.

I have trouble writing about him because I want to write about his struggles that he overcame, that he’s still overcoming. My god he’s inspiring. He’s also humble and extremely modest. I’ve wanted to shake him so many times until he admitted he was awesome. He and I do text almost every day. We talk about anything and everything. 

I hope you have friends like these. Friends that make you want to get up in the morning when you feel like the day is already gonna suck. Friends that inspire you. Friends that don’t beat you down about positive things.

I hope I have these friends for the rest of my life. I did make them my child’s godparents, official in a church and everything. They are the best type of people for her to be around, for her to be mentored by.

Thank you for reading! Peace!

Friendships after High School

Will this be kind of sad? Depends on how you look at it. Everyone is told by adults that some of the friendships we develop in High School will not last once school ends. That we will all splinter off and go separate ways and lose touch. Well, they were half right.

It’s very true that not all friendships last after high school; some don’t even last through high school. But they don’t end the way the adults said they would, not always. At least not for me.

I was an aggressively optimistic person in high school. If you read my post about my depression you’re probably wondering how or if I was lying. Being aggressively optimistic and kind of annoying about it was one way I got through my depression cycle because I didn’t want people to see that I was depressed. So when I heard that the friends I did have I wouldn’t have later? Absolute malarkey. Friendships don’t end unless you stop trying!

Now, some of you share (or shared) this ideal. What I forgot is that when only one person is trying, it’s a one sided friendship that’ll leave you frustrated and hurt. Kind of like a one sided love. Here’s my different friendships and how they ended.

First one up is the person I considered a best friend probably a little too quick. We were drastically different but in a fun way. She had her problems and so did I. It was and good friendship overall until I graduated (I was and year and head of most of my friends). We still texted and hung out when we could and it made me believe we could beat that stereotype of friendships not lasting. Then I got job.

It wasn’t because of my job that things started to break down between us, the actual reasons come much later. But my life had taken a different turn and I wasn’t as focus on high school or the drama it brought anymore which were things that still effected her. After she (and many of our other friends) graduated a year later, we were in the same boat again. Being able to talk about the same things made our friendship easier. Then she moved to a different state.

Have you ever been friends with someone that you didn’t notice had problems the you knew you couldn’t help with but you still tried anyways when you were finally clued in? I didn’t realize what she was going through until after she moved and many things happened with her that she would take out on me. My work schedule became a problem for her because I wouldn’t text back for days due to being exhausted. As time went on (about three years) she became self destructive and pretty abusive to a close friend of both of us. She had begun to lie to me about certain people and I’d later found out that she would lie to them about me. It was all small things and I realized she had been desperate for me to see her in a good light. But she had stopped listening.

Our friendship became one sided quickly after she left. I was there for her when I could be but she couldn’t listen to me. I held on until the truth spilled out about what she had been doing to a close friend. She was unapologetic about it and tried to spin it and blame him. But I saw the texts. She didn’t deserve either of us after that.

Some friends don’t deserve you. It’s hard to figure out which ones until you’ve watched them hang from all rope you had given them as a lifeline.

The next friend was another one I considered a best friend. He doesn’t get a long post like the one before because he had been more abrupt about our friendship ending. Let me tell you a little bit about our friendship.

We met at a youth church thing. He and I were extremely flirtatious, a trait that I rarely find in other people. We were kindred spirits. We loved making people smile and blush with just our words. It was a rush. We never dated but I’m pretty sure the entire church thought we were going to. His parents never let him date though. Maybe if they had, he wouldn’t have stopped talking to me once the girl of his dreams finally showed him interest after high school ended.

Right when they started dating, all communication stopped. At first I didn’t think much of it because he was horrible about texting back in general (another trait we shared). But after a few weeks of no text backs, I was confused and distracted by work so I again didn’t think too much about it. Then a common friend of ours who also happened to be a girl and a girl he had been pursuing pretty hard, reached out to me asking if she did something wrong because he had stopped talking to her as well.

I called him out on it. No reply. I consoled the common friend that he was an idiot. I didn’t come to terms that our friendship was ended until about two years later when I went through Facebook and deleted him. I did find out that the reason for the radio silence was because all his attention was directed towards the girl of his dreams. I guess he thought that when you start dating someone you stop talking to anyone who didn’t go to college with you or who wasn’t in your classes. He’s done it to our entire friend group.

Now I generalized with these two. There was so many other reasons, so many signs that the friendship is ending or needs to end but you don’t see them until you’re feeling nostalgic. Do I miss them? No. Not the people they are now. I miss the ones I hung out with in high school. I’m actually not even hurt anymore. If I was, this would have been full of swear words and name calling.

I hold on to the good times I had with them and the lessons they taught me. I hope they’re both doing alright as well. I remain a little hopeful that in the future, near or far, that we can start over as adult friends but I’m not holding my breath on it.

So, unfortunately, the adults are right. You will lose friends after High School. I can only hope that they had been good friends for you during high school. These two had been for me.

Thank you for reading. Peace.

Making Appointments as an Adult

Out of everything they teach us-“they” being the adults in our lives, our teachers, our parents, our aunts and uncles  (in Hawaii “Aunty”  and “Uncle” are used in place of “Ma’am” and “Sir” as terms of respect), our doctors- none of them taught us how to make appointments on our own. That probably mostly fell on the parents but if your parents are similar to mine then your parents probably made all your appointments for you up until you hit 18 (in some lucky cases a bit longer).

I’m not sure exactly why I get filled with this weird dread whenever I go to pick up my phone to schedule an appointment for myself. Making one for my daughter is no problem, I have to do that or else my little one wouldn’t be vaccinated against many dangerous diseases that could take her from me. But when it comes to making an appointment for me, I have to be absolutely miserable and a little delirious from fever in order to conjure up the confidence to even talk to the nurse.

Do I recommend being terribly sick before calling if you have the same dread I do when it comes to making Appointments? Hell no. I’m a hypocrite and have more faith in your ability to be confident in making an appointment than in mine.

I know it’s hard. Half the time I don’t know if I’m making a fool of myself on the phone. Even with the questions and answers to possible questions  (I often envision different scenarios in my head before I do something) written down in front of me, when I hear the nurse on the other end I suddenly forget how to read and start stumbling over my words while the beautiful curse words that start with ‘F’ and ‘S’ are replaying in the faint background of my mind.

Maybe that’s what it is. Not wanting to mess up. I mean the first impression these nurses get from me could be my lack of ability to speak coherent sentences. Optimistically I’m probably not the worse they’ve ever heard over the phone and by the time they actually see me they have probably totally forgotten about my probable verbal mistakes over the phone (and trust me, there’s been a lot of those). 

I’m not gonna write the less optimistic point of view that just popped into my head because then I’ll be going back and forth all day. I don’t feel like doing that.

I will say that I’ve kind of written myself into making my appointments. If it was already obvious what I’ve been putting off doing today.

Thanks for reading! Peace!