Friday Night Shenanigans!

This past week has been one of the most fun I’ve had since moving to Oahu because of the two friends I have made. I have written about our shopping adventures and since we’ve bonded for two days straight, I felt more comfortable asking them over my apartment.

Yesterday one of them came over (I’ll call her A) in the morning with her son so that the little ones could have a play date and we could relax and talk story. It was great, time flew by so fast. We watched episodes of One Tree Hill (a show I am seriously considering binge-watching despite knowing that my heart is going to break into a million pieces). My other friend (D), I had already texted previously about her coming over that evening since my husband was going to be at a game night somewhere else and I didn’t want to be alone for another Friday night.

What ended up happening was that A and her son ended up staying long into the afternoon so it only made sense to invite them to stay into the evening as well since D was already going to be coming over. We went to the little shoppette near us, got some drinks (small bottles of red wine and beer) and some snacks to eat with the pizza I was going to order as well. A’s husband decided he wanted to have their son for the evening and picked him up so it became a full-on girl’s night.

After my husband left for his game night, the pizza was already on it’s way and we were talking about what movie to watch. A and D both like scary movies, I don’t but I was definitely willing to watch one after having a few drinks in me since I would be more relaxed. Once pizza came, we ended up drinking some wine and I had put Moana on for my little one while we ate. We also talked. A lot. It’s been awhile since I was able to really talk to people in a long time, especially while tipsy because it made everything funnier.

The conversation went through family, family dramas, husbands, being a military spouse, sex, and being pregnant since D is currently trying with her husband to get pregnant. Then it shifted to my house. Mainly, the unfinished living room part of my apartment. The movers came in May and nothing had been put together yet since we had trouble finding the bolts which I finally found a few days ago (I also found tools and put together my little one’s crib a few days ago). We were all a few drinks in so we were relatively tipsy when A and D decided they wanted to help put my living room together.

I didn’t think we would actually do it. But once I had given my little one a bath and she went down for the night, I come back out to find them in the living room moving things around and clearing space so we could walk around when putting stuff together. I tried scolding them since they were my guests but when I’m tipsy, I’m not much of an arguer and generally go with the flow. They were very adamant about doing this with me as well.

We put together the futon couch first. We found tools and the screws only to find out that some of the screws were screwed (hehe) up from the movers putting the bolt part on backwards. Through ingenuity (and a few more sips of beer), D figured out a way to get the bolts off without breaking the screw itself and we were able to put the futon couch together! We celebrated with a cheers and a sip.

After the futon was put together and situated, organizing everything else came easier and quicker. We cleared out the rest of the boxes, throwing stuff I knew we didn’t need away and putting boxes full of what looked like tools and sewing supplies into the laundry room, and putting the emptied boxes off to the side to take outside later. They made room inside my laundry room to put the extra washer and dryer in there along with the giant ice chest we had (which we will one day actually use hopefully). We moved the book case (that thankfully had wheels) across the living room as well.

We had a good time taking the boxes out into the garage because it was midnight and we were trying to be quiet but we kept laughing at trying to be quiet. I was surprised no one called the MP’s on us. However, considering this is Hawaii, I’m sure they’ve seen way worse than three delirious women moving empty boxes outside.

They helped me sweep, organized and clean a good portion of my apartment. I thought I was dreaming seeing everything finished. I realize that I didn’t think it would ever be done. Doing it by myself wouldn’t have been impossible but it would have definitely taken me all day and into the evening. I’m glad I had them. I’m glad they were pushy. I’m glad they like to clean in the middle of the night (I’m more of a morning person). Otherwise, my house wouldn’t look the way it does this fine Saturday and it looks good.

My husband came home while I was mildly scolding them for cleaning my kitchen. They’re guests and my friends and they had already done so much! It was about two in the morning as well so I was super delirious. My husband couldn’t quite believe his eyes when he saw how everything looked. I knew exactly how he felt.

Since it was so late, he took the futon while me and the girls took the bed in the room. We all fit perfectly! It was an amazing Friday night (and highly unexpected)! We didn’t go to sleep until 3 in the morning and ended waking up at 7.30 because my little one got up and started playing youtube videos on the my phone that I left on the floor.

Last friday night was probably the best experience I’ve had since moving to Oahu.

Thanks for reading! Peace!

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Future Education

Becoming a mother and a military wife (or a wife in general) at 19 wasn’t something I planned for. When I was in high school I had actually applied to colleges for a variety of things I wanted to study: psychology, history, animation, graphic arts, photography, journalism…I was all over the place. I wanted to learn it all. Unfortunately, my grades weren’t the greatest since I slacked off the first two years of high school and I couldn’t do FAFSA.

So I went to work instead. I was determined that I would save up money and then go to school. I had my own bills every month but my parents were nice enough to allow me to stay at the house rent free so that I could save. There was an opportunity to go to a photography school but their tuition was too much since I had just started working and only had two grand saved up. I turned my mind to a type of schooling that would be quicker: massage therapy.

The Hawaiian Islands are filled with Massage schools. I like to believe it’s because we’re a tourist destination that there is so many but that could just me making connections where there are none.  The nearest massage school was a thirty minute drive and there was only two things in my way: I didn’t have my driver’s license and I was working full time.

Getting my driver’s license should have been simple since I had my permit already, I just needed more drive time before I took the test. Changing my schedule was a little bit harder for me because I was a bleeding heart and we always seemed to be understaffed which led to extremely stressful situations for all workers and I hated to be one of the reasons for added stress. But I also kept it in the back of my head that as soon as we had more workers I would go down to part time and then apply the money that I had saved (which was mounting past five grand at this point since I was already in my second year of working) towards the tuition.

Then I got pregnant. For a while after finding out, I couldn’t even think about the plans for the future. I had to think about what I was going to do at that point. I talked about that choice in earlier blog post. I ultimately chose to keep my little one and was already making plans to raise her by myself, pushing my education plans a little off to the side.

Then I got married when I was six months along and now I’m suddenly a soon-to-be-mother and military wife. I wasn’t thinking about education anymore since my mind was stuck living moment to moment.

It was only after my little one turned 1 that I even began thinking about going to college. I didn’t know about the MYCAA yet, I just figured I’d wait until she started school before I’d go back to work and then do online schooling. For what? I wasn’t sure but I looked at anything and everything that interested me.

The only obstacle I truly face at this time is me being a people pleaser and of course everyone in my family I talk to wants me to do something different. My mom wants me to wait until the little one is in school otherwise (and she doesn’t say this but she implies it strongly with her facial features) I’m being selfish. My dad and my husband want me to go into something that makes a lot of money (of course they say as long as it’s something that I’ll be happy doing…as long as it makes a lot of money because with them, money is the root of happiness and I’ll be happy if I do something that makes money *insert eye roll here*). So of course, all three of them object to me getting my massage therapist license.

I’ve fought them on it, which is exhausting, and so they’ve stopped objecting every time I bring it up. I hope they realize that’s not all I want to go into, it’s just the quickest one I can do while we are stationed where we are.

I still want to learn more history because history is fascinating. I still think about psychology and that would be the longest one to get a degree for as well as the most expensive.

I am still unsure how I’m going to do it. I look up online degrees every now and again whenever I’m unsure that I can do what I want online. Furthering my education is one of those major uncertain areas of my life because no matter how much information there is out there on how to go back to school while being a military spouse, I have trouble grasping it and understanding it all. I don’t want to get put in a financially troubling situation simply because I misinterpret something.

I can’t be alone in that right?

Thanks for reading! Peace!

Being a Military Spouse: A short Overview

When I became a military spouse, there was already a list of things I didn’t want to be based off of the common stereotypes and myths I had heard about military spouses. I have had people who, once I heard that my husband was in the military, give me a look, as if they figured out exactly the type of person I am based off of my status: a cheating free-loader. How more wrong could they be?

I’ve been a military spouse for two years, still basically a newbie, and I have moved about three times already due to my husband’s job. I have been lucky enough to meet other military spouses who are sick of the stereotypes and people looking at us sideways for no reason other than they think they know us. So here is a list of misconceptions and how I feel about it (because this blog is all about me).

  • Military Spouses are more prone to cheating

Yeah no. This is quite an outdated stereotype. It also applies to people in service. But just because one is in the service or is married to one in the service, it doesn’t automatically mean we have this insatiable lust. All humans are prone to cheating on their significant other but it depends on one’s mindset. As my papa (who served) told me one day over the phone: “If it’s not in your mind to cheat, then you won’t. It shouldn’t even be thought of.”

  • Military families are completely taken care of

Military offers many perks, such as being able to pay bills and have groceries covered as well as childcare being available to those who ask depending on the duty station you’re at and health care. However, many of us are living paycheck to paycheck. Budgeting is a monthly if not a bi-weekly activity. Even if you budget for a potential disaster such as car troubles or an unexpected trip to the ER where the medication needed is not completely covered by Tricare, you can still end up in the negative. If you have children, it gets slightly worse especially as they get older and goes to school. Many military spouses I have met have jobs of their own that helps pay for small luxuries like new clothes for always growing children or paying off old debts or even more food than what the food budget can allow.

  • Military Spouses are just freeloaders

Yes there are freeloading spouses but I have yet to meet one (and no, I’m not one of them). Stay at home parents are not automatically freeloaders so get that out of your head. Those who don’t have children still go to work or they go do something (usually within the budget) to take up their time such as volunteer on base or somewhere else. Those who do have children and who stay at home spend most of the day debating whether to start cleaning or wait until after taking the child to the park to tire them out so they can clean without “help”. They also are trying to make sure that their spouses uniforms are clean (not that those who are in the service can’t do it themselves) so it’s one less thing to worry about. There’s meals to plan. Budgets to figure out. Appointments to be made. This also applies to those who work but have children in day care. The last thing I would call a military spouse is a freeloader.

  • Military spouses know a good amount of what’s going on

Hahahahaha. Yeah no. Military has security clearances for a reason and despite many of us spouses wanting to know if there’s something dangerous going on, our servicemen won’t say a thing. News is where we get the information that we are allowed to know. I, personally, get very confused about statuses and military jargon no matter how much I try to study it. I think that’s just something I’m going to have to learn in time in order for it to stick. Luckily my husband is more than willing to point what words and jargon applies to when I ask.

  • Military spouses know what they’re doing

Hahahahahahahahaha. My blog doesn’t have the word “uncertain” in it for no reason. Trying to navigate the rules of military living (and there is quite a bit, each duty station has more or less than each other) can be stressful because what we do reflects on our servicemen and we want to make sure they look good (for our sake and theirs). So a lot of times I’m walking around unsure if I’m breaking a rule or if I’m not doing things right (so far I haven’t broken any rules). Learning the rules for each duty station can be helpful but in my brain’s case, I won’t always remember them. So I barely know what I’m doing.

So there is a few misconceptions I have become acquainted with in my past two years as a military spouse. If you’re a military spouse I understand your pain of being stereotyped, I know the struggle. Luckily, we can count on each other to make sure we don’t fall on our faces.

Thanks for reading! Peace!